What the Water Gave Us
by CrazyOtaku13
Summary: After Loki is imprisoned, he begins to visit Natasha in her dreams with the intention of terrifying her. As time passes, the two get to know each other and a certain incident brings them closer together. Blackfrost. Will later contain major Thor 2 spoilers.
1. I feel like I am nothing

**Hello again, everyone. I'm back to writing again (finally!) I've had this idea for months, but it's later gonna get into some Thor 2 spoilers that involve spoilers for a certain character . I wanna write this story and post it now, though. I miss writing about Loki and Nat. Enjoy, everyone!**

**"All your insults and your curses**  
**Make me feel like I'm not a person**  
**And I feel like I am nothing**  
**But you made me so**  
**Do something"**

**For You~ Staind**

"I am ashamed to have once called you my son," The All-Father said. Just the sight of his adopted son sickened him.

Loki lowered his head in defeat. The muzzle bruising his jaw forbid him from saying anything in reply. Hearing Odin speak ill of him hurt, but Loki fought to remain composed, especially since Thor and his Mother were present. He refused to let either of them see him in such a pitiful state.

"Odin!" Frigga snapped at her husband. "That is no way to speak to our son!"

The raven haired god began to shake his head. He didn't want his Mother defending him. After nearly destroying Midgard, he deserved this punishment.

The All-Father held up a hand to silence his wife. "My Queen, he is to atone for everything he has done. Until then, he is a prisoner."

"And just how do you expect him to atone for anything with _that _on him?!" The Queen demanded. She went over to Loki and reached for the muzzle.

"No!" Thor's voice boomed. "He will never utter a single lie, so long as he wears that symbol of shame."

"This is your Brother, Thor!"

Loki's hand reached out to touch Frigga's arm. His eyes met with hers and he shook his head.

"Leave him, my Queen," said Odin. "Loki has much to think about… He is responsible for the lives of many Midgardians," the All-Father continued. "Until he is in the right state of mind, he will stay here."

The goddess wrapped her arms around her son's middle. "I am sorry, Loki," she whispered.

Loki would have hugged her, but the handcuffs restricted his arm movements.

"Know that you are of great worth," Frigga quietly continued. "There's good to you, Loki. I know there is." She stood on her tiptoes to kiss his nose.

His brows furrowed in anger. There was no good to him. Only evil coursed within the god's veins. If redemption was to be his way of freedom, then he would forever be kept locked up as Odin's stolen relic. Loki clenched his fists, using every bit of strength he had to not cry. Thor roughly grabbed one of his arms while Odin took the other. Together, the All-Father and his rightful heir tossed Loki into a dark and lonely cell.

"You should follow Thor's example," said Odin in a grave tone as he used his magic to seal the glass chamber shut. "If you were more like him, you would not be in this situation."

The second the three had left, Loki let loose a muffled scream. He allowed for the tears that blurred his vision to freely fall from his eyes. Odin could lock him away forever, muzzle and all, but to compare him to Thor… that hurt Loki more than anything. It made him feel worthless, useless, like he would never be good for anything. Times like these frustrated Loki. Why didn't Odin just kill him? Loki found no point to his life if he were to be kept in confinement for centuries. He was better off dead. No one would care-perhaps Frigga would, but Loki figured that she would move on in time… Pressing his back against the stone wall, Loki slumped down to the floor and closed his eyes. He figured that the idea of causing someone else misery would help calm him. But where to start? First, he considered the man of iron, simply because of his resistance to the scepter. But then he thought back to the conniving little wench who tricked him. The god smiled from beneath the muzzle. Yes. She would be a fitting start. Loki focused himself, channeling his magic so that he would be able to teleport himself into her thoughts. It just so happened that in the moment he did so, the woman was fast asleep, leaving her subconscious vulnerable to his magic …

_"No!" A young red-headed child screamed. "Let go of me! Let go!" she hissed. A man dressed in all white was grabbing the little girl by the arms. She kicked at his legs, fighting to break free of the man's grasp._

_ Although the girl appeared to be no older than ten-years-old, Loki immediately recognised her, solely because of her fighting spirit. "Such anger," he crooned, slowly approaching her. "You never change, do you?" His smile widened. "Natasha."_

_ The little girl stopped kicking to stare up at the god. In that very moment, she let out a piercing cry, forcing Loki out of her conscience and back into reality._

So even the seemingly fearless and confident Black Widow had nightmares. Loki immediately felt more at ease as he thought of all the fun he could have in messing with the mind of Natasha Romanoff. Perhaps being locked up with nothing to do would allow for him to continue this new game of his…


	2. I must be dreaming

**"It's not what it seems  
Not what you think  
No, I must be dreaming  
It's only in my mind  
Not in real life  
No, I must be dreaming**

**Help you know I've got to tell someone**  
**Tell them what I know you've done**  
**I fear you but spoken fears can come true"**

**I Must be Dreaming ~Evanescence **

_I'm Natasha Romanoff. I'm a trained spy. I can look out for myself. One time, I even helped save the world… So why can't I sleep at night?_

_"Clint," Natasha breathed as she pulled the man against her body. _

_ "Yeah, Nat?" he absently mumbled. His lips were too busy pressing kisses to the nape of her exposed neck._

_ She ran her fingers through his short, sandy hair. "I'm scared," she admitted quietly._

_ Clint made a grunt in disapproval as a hand reached up her shirt. _

_ "I keep having nightmares," Natasha began. "And they never st-" Her partner squeezed her breast and she knew he wasn't listening. "Barton!" she snapped. "Hands off!" she angrily warned him. _

_ "Make me," said Clint, his tone dark. His eyes slowly met with hers. The usual blue-green of his eyes had been replaced with a light blue glaze._

_ "No," Natasha squeaked out. This wasn't her partner. This wasn't Clint Barton…_

_ He pulled down her shorts with a crazed look in his eyes._

_ "NO!" Natasha screamed. In the distance, Natasha swore she could hear a hauntingly familiar laugh. _Slowly, Intimately_, a voice echoed within her mind. This wasn't Clint Barton at all-this was Loki…_

The assassin woke with a start, gasping for air. _A nightmare_, she told herself. _Just another…nightmare… _Natasha's eyes soon adjusted to the darkness of her bedroom. She scanned the room, but all was still, and all was silent. The red-head let out a groan as her head fell back against her pillow. She ran a hand through her short hair and felt perspiration against her forehead. The nightmares had been getting worse and worse lately. Every night, she was left haunted by unpleasant dreams, mostly about the past, strange alien creatures, magic... and Loki… No matter what the nightmare was about, he was always present in some form or another. It wasn't a recent thing, either. Just days after winning the battle against the Chitauri, the nightmares began. The first night it happened was the very day Loki had been sent back to Asgard. As much as Natasha wanted to take comfort in the arms of Clint Barton, her latest dream made her uneasy.

Despite Natasha's attempts to stay awake each and every time, she eventually fell victim to slumber and the awaiting nightmares to come with it. She pulled her comforter up to her chin and curled up into a ball as she stared into the darkness. Natasha cursed herself for feeling so threatened by her subconscious. It was downright childish. She needed her sleep to function, though. Just the other day, Clint had taken notice of the dark circles under her eyes. Natasha knew that it wouldn't be long before her other teammates took notice. She had already tried medication, tea before bed, hot baths, drinking… but nothing seemed to work. Every time she slept, Loki was there, making even her sweetest dreams a nightmare. The past month of sleepless nights felt like years to her. Lost in thought, Natasha felt her eyelids grow heavy. It didn't take long for her to fall back asleep again.

_"You don't seem to be yourself, Ms. Romanoff," said Loki's velvety voice._

_Darkness surrounded Natasha. She turned her body towards the sound of the trickster's voice, only to find him standing tall behind the doors of his glass prison cell. She knew this was all another dream-it had to have been. "Loki," she said, her voice a low growl. Natasha carefully approached the cell, just as she had done the first time she had encountered him. Dressed in her black cat suit, the Black Widow stood before the god of mischief with crossed arms and a severe expression. "What is this?" Natasha asked, her tone quickly darkening. She knew this had to be a dream, but it felt all-too real to her. _

_"Familiar, isn't it?" the raven-haired god asked, outstretching his arms. _

_"You know what I mean…" she hissed. "This. It's magic, isn't it?" Loki's signature smirk told her that she was correct. "I figured that seeing your face every night wasn't just a coincidence. What are you planning now?" she demanded. Natasha's arms fell to her sides, her hands balling up into fists._

_"Forgive me, but what am I being accused of this time?" Loki wondered innocently enough. _

_The Black Widow's fist smacked against the glass. "You damn well know what I'm talking about!" Natasha spat. She had tried to maintain a cool composure, but her lack of sleep was affecting her, even within the dream._

_Seeing her temper pleased the god. Finally, he had gotten under her skin. "You seem stressed. Is this what I am to blame for?"_

_Natasha shot him a cold glare. "Since you left, I can't sleep. I keep having nightmares. And you're in every single one of them…" _

_"How does it feel?" Loki wondered, growing curious. _

_"If this is you and your magic, I'd like for it to stop," she stated in a composed manner._

_"And if I refuse?" The glass enclosure vanished completely, leaving the two alone in a state of nothingness. _

_Natasha instinctively reached down to grab her gun._

_"Is that supposed to help you?" Loki chuckled darkly. "As if your pathetic little toy could harm me," he cockily remarked._

_"It won't hurt to try," Natasha said with a confident smirk across her full lips._

_The unmistakable spark of anger that flared within her emerald orbs captivated the god's interest. He reached out his hand, allowing for his slender fingers to caress her arm. Even through the fabric of her cat suit, he could feel her body trembling. Judging by the look in her eyes, though, it was out of rage, rather than fear. Nonetheless, he could hear the sound of her heartbeat racing within her chest._

_ "Don't touch me." She stated in a low growl. Natasha's gaze refused to be torn away from that of the trickster's._

_ Natasha's glare hardened from beneath her long lashes. _

_ "Tell me, are you afraid?" he wondered. "How your heart races, Ms. Romanoff. It isn't doing so out of anger, is it?"_

_ Just as Natasha raised the gun to his chest, Loki's hand covered hers. His finger lightly pressed against her trigger finger. "Go on," the god said, eerily calm._

_ For whatever reason, Natasha's body refused to move._

_ "Is something the matter?" Loki smiled. "Natasha…" _

_ Before she could utter a word in reply, the god unexpectedly pressed his mouth to hers. The gun fell from Natasha's hand. His cool lips felt surprisingly soft against hers, despite the force of the kiss. Natasha groaned into his mouth and bit his lower lip in retaliation. _

_ "They say that firing a gun causes the same chemical reaction as a kiss," Loki told her with a reassuring smile. The bite mark upon his lip faded in an instant. "Is that true?" he playfully asked. _

Natasha awoke in a cold sweat for the second time that night. She muttered a stream of Russian swears in an attempt to calm herself down. Had it all really been a dream? she wondered. It had felt too real-Natasha swore that Loki was there with her… She brought a finger to her lips and could feel the iciness from his lips lingering.

_ "They say that firing a gun causes the same chemical reaction as a kiss."_

Natasha frowned at the thought. Taking a deep breath, she recalled the adrenaline felt during that very moment of her dream. The way her heart raced-it felt familiar to her.

_"Is that true?"_

_Yes… _After all, firing a gun was a daily thing for her. She couldn't deny that Loki's kiss had felt any different. Natasha had tried falling asleep, but couldn't bring herself to-especially not after her latest dream. She was afraid of Loki coming back to haunt her again. Checking the digital clock on her night stand, she saw that it was just after four. The mention of firing a gun whilst dreaming gave the assassin the urge to do some target practice. Natasha changed into a pair of clean sweats and a tank top before grabbing her utility belt, a gun, and her ID. She then made her way down to the Avengers Tower's gym. It was pitch black. Even after flipping on the lights, the room was eerily empty. That didn't bother the Black Widow, though. She preferred the solitude.

She made her way towards the shooting range and readied her gun. The air was still as Natasha waited for a target to appear. In the corner of her right eye, she spotted a target board appear. She fired her gun and in that very second, she swore she could feel Loki's lips against hers, icy cold. "Shit!" she hissed, dropping her gun to the floor in surprise. It wasn't like Natasha to drop her weapon, even if it was just practice. She knelt down to grab her weapon before slowly rising to her feet. After several deep breaths, Natasha outstretched her arms, gun ready to fire at the next target to come her way. _Don't get distracted, Romanoff, _she warned herself. The lack of sleep was getting to her-that she knew for a fact. Her next target appeared to her left. Only this time, it wasn't a bulls-eye. It was Loki. Natasha fired her gun several times at the god's face, screaming obscenities. She just wanted to wipe the smug look off his face. Rather, she wanted to kill him and stop him from haunting her. Once she was out of ammo, she realized that it wasn't Loki she had been hitting, but a target. She had been positive that that had been the trickster's face, though… Taking deep breaths, Natasha tried to relax. All of her sleepless nights were finally catching up to her. The spy's surroundings quickly began to blur and dance around her. Tired and dizzy, the assassin collapsed onto the cold ground below, knocking the red-head unconscious.


	3. I need to get away

**"I said you got me where you want me again  
And I can't turn away  
I'm hangin' by a thread and I'm feelin' like a fool  
I'm stuck here in between  
The shadows of my yesterday  
I want to get away  
I need to get away"**

**Back Against the Wall ~Cage the Elephant**

_Natasha groaned, bringing her palm to her forehead as she sat upright. The darkness surrounding her made her blind. She was still in the training room, though...but Natasha could've sworn she had left the lights on. Rising to her feet, she allowed for her eyes to adjust to the darkness in hopes of finding her gun._

_"Looking for something?" a silky voice asked._

_A set of lights flickered on, disorienting Natasha. Squinting her eyes, Natasha could make out Loki's silhouette several feet away from her. "Loki…" Another dream. The Black Widow had no reason to be afraid if she was asleep, though. "You still haven't told me what all of this is… These dreams…" Now that she could see clearly, Natasha realized that this time, it was she who was in the glass prison cell. This brought a smile to her lips. "So is this your way of saying you've trapped me?" Natasha forced a laugh. _

_Loki began to chuckle softly. "This is your subconscious. I've simply slipped in to pay a visit."_

_Natasha raised a brow. "So you _are _messing with my mind."_

_"Visiting," he corrected, slowly approaching the glass. "You have rather interesting dreams, Ms. Romanoff... Tell me, was the man in white of the Red Room?" he wondered, referring to the first dream he intruded upon. "Clint Barton once mentioned the name, yet he said that you couldn't recall anything. Other than that you endured unthinkable tortures there…" Loki was now extremely curious. Just how bad was this woman's life? Worse than his? He doubted that… "You've dreamt of men dressed in white coats quite often…"_

_Natasha recalled several of her dreams all at once. The first night Thor took Loki away, she had dreamt of the horrid place and how Loki was there. Then there was another where Loki was one of the doctors in white, ready to perform a lobotomy on her. And another where Loki ordered the Red Room doctors to provide shock treatment if she were to mess up her dance-and having Loki present made Natasha slip up _very _easily. The Black Widow crossed her arms and refused to meet Loki's gaze. "And you always seem to show up along with them," she muttered, shifting uncomfortably. Why did he insist on continuously haunting her? "Just leave me alone," she coldly stated. Even when her dreams didn't involve horrors from her past, one thing was always the same in each and every nightmare-Loki was sure to be there. It was for this reason that Natasha couldn't have sweet dreams. He ruined everything. _

_"And why is that?" he prodded. "You just said that you believe that this dream is a symbol for you being 'trapped,' as you phrased it." His wicked grin widened. "Trapped by me." _

_"Go away!" the red-head growled. _Wake up! _Natasha told herself. _

_"You want this, though, do you not?" he asked._

_"No!" she shouted."No!" She ran up to the glass and beat her fists against it. _Wake up! Dammit, Wake up!

_"Is something the matter, Natasha?" the god playfully asked. _

_Even in her nightmare, she felt exhausted. All the frustration from her sleepless weeks were catching up to her. "Just go away!" _

_"Natasha…"_

_She gave the glass a swift kick._

_"Natasha?"_

_The glass shattered, allowing for Natasha to charge at Loki. She raised her arm, ready to punch him, but her body failed to move._

_Loki smiled and reached out to touch her forehead. "Natasha?"_

_"Let me go!" Natasha snarled._

"Natasha?"

"No…" The woman tossed her head to the side.

"Natasha, it's Bruce-you're okay," Dr. Banner reassured her. He moved his warm hand away from her forehead. "She feels normal, Clint," he began, looking to the archer.

Clint watched Natasha as she lay sprawled against the training room's floor. "She just hasn't been looking well. She says she's fine, but she hasn't been sleeping," he informed the doctor.

"Tony hasn't been sleeping well, either. Ever since the whole alien Loki invasion…"

Natasha heard the trickster's name mentioned and her eyes flew open. Hovering over her were Bruce and Clint. She looked around, relieved to see that she was by the shooting range.

"Nat!?" Clint worriedly asked. He drew his face closer to hers. "Geez, Nat, you scared the hell out of me!"

"I was training," she informed him.

"On the floor?" he asked, cocking a brow. "Nat, I thought you were dead!"

She rolled her eyes and shoved him in the chest as she sat up. "I needed to lie down," she lied. "Must've fallen asleep." The whole situation was humiliating. Natasha knew that this wasn't like her at all. She needed sleep-sweet, dreamless sleep.

"I'd recommend sleeping in your bed," Bruce chuckled.

"Already tried that, Doc." The spy rose to her feet. She found her gun close by and picked it up.

"So it is trouble sleeping… I can prescribe you something, if you like," Dr. Banner offered.

Natasha placed her gun in its proper holster against her left thigh. The idea was tempting, but her first attempt of taking medication only made her nightmares worse. "I'm fine now." She brushed past the two men.

"No you're not." Clint was the only one able to see right through Natasha. "I know you haven't been sleeping well. You're not even acting like yourself, Nat," he continued. "You're-"

"What?!" She whirled around to shoot her partner a glare. "I'm **fine, **Barton!" Natasha seethed. "I don't need you to tell me that I'm not-"

"Since when did you lose your cool like this?" Clint asked, a hard look in his eyes.

Bruce decided to slowly back away from the fighting assassins.

"This isn't like you, Nat," Clint continued. "So what's going on…"

"I have work to do," Natasha easily lied. She turned on her heel and stormed off. Clint was right-this wasn't like her at all. What she needed was sleep, which Loki denied her. Unless she took matters into her own hands… Now that she knew Loki was purposefully giving her nightmares, she needed to take control. And the only way to chat with the god of mischief again was to sleep, which was going to be easy for Natasha Romanoff.


	4. My nightmares can begin

** "I fade away into the night**  
**My eyes are closing in **  
**Shadows fleeing from the light **  
**My nightmares can begin **  
**Wake me can't you hear me calling **

**Out of darkness they come crawling"**

**Creeping in My Soul ~Christine Lorentzen**

_ Up in the sky, the Chitauri soldiers were flying out of the portal by the dozen, riding atop their chariots. A swarm of the alien creatures flew towards the Black Widow, who stood completely unarmed and alone. Wearing only a tank top and a pair of sweat pants, Natasha got into a fighting stance as the Chitauri charged towards her. Her only weapon in this battle solely relied on her years of hand-to-hand training. In the depths of her mind, she knew that this was a dream, so what did she have to fear? A laser shot her in the shoulder, forcing her to fall back against the pavement. Natasha groaned, gripping her injured shoulder as a jolt of pain took over. _

_ "I would expect that you of all people would show up to battle prepared," Loki announced. The god forced the Chitauri to halt as his chariot touched the ground. "Does it hurt?" he asked the woman. "Even if this is but a dream?" The god stepped down from his chariot and sauntered over to Natasha._

_ "Of course you show up." Natasha forced a smirk as she forced herself to her feet. "Just the guy I wanted to see."_

_ Loki raised a brow in amusement. "Well, our previous conversation was interrupted."_

_ "I don't even need to know why you're doing this," Natasha informed him with a glare. "I just need it to stop."_

_ "And spoil my fun?" the trickster mused. _

_ "This may be fun for you, but it's not for me," Natasha scowled. "Thor mentioned that Daddy was gonna lock you up." She noticed Loki grimace and knew that she had gotten to him. "Shouldn't you be enjoying your time in prison?"_

_ Loki balled up a fist at his side. His free hand reached out and grabbed Natasha's neck and lifted her feet up off the ground. "Know that this suffering that I am inflicting upon you is _nothing _compared to mine!" the god angrily hissed. He tightened his hold around Natasha's windpipe, making her gag. "This, Ms. Romanoff, is my way of seeking revenge against you, who tricked me." He threw the red-head into the ground._

_ Natasha began to cough as she tried catching her breath. "Kinda low, even for you," she weakly replied. "Letting things go must be hard for you, huh?" Before she had a chance to sit up, Loki kicked her in the gut._

_ The only thing flashing through Loki's mind was letting go of the scepter and falling. Falling into the abyss, away from the man he called his Father and the one he called Brother. "Letting go isn't difficult. Not in the least…" Natasha rolled onto her side, coughing up a mouthful of blood. "Does it hurt?" he asked her. Without letting her answer, the toe of his boot smacked against her ribcage, making the woman cry out as a crack was heard. "You think you know pain?" he spat, grabbing her chin and drawing her face close to his. "I will make you __**long**__ for something as sweet as pain!" Loki recalled those exact words being said to him once before. It felt good for him to be the one saying them. The words made him feel powerful and in control. _

_ "L-…" Natasha grabbed her injured side. Even though it was just a dream, the pain felt real. She needed to wake up. "Loki," she gasped. "Ok. I'm sorry." Maybe an apology would be enough for him. Although she knew that he was overreacting. _

_ A reassuring grin formed at the corners of his lips. He knelt down to be at level with the fallen assassin. "Apologise all you like, Natasha, but I will still come back for you." His icy stare met with her frightened emerald orbs. "Your dreams entertain me. It is for that reason that I insist upon returning to you."_

In that moment, Natasha awoke, greeted by rays of sunlight seeping past her curtains. Looking to the digital clock on her nightstand, she saw that it was just after five PM. She was hesitant about getting out of bed right away. Her body trembled ever so slightly beneath her sheets. Despite having had another nightmare, she was glad that she had managed to get several hours of sleep. She also now knew that Loki _wanted_ to mess with her. This bothered Natasha since she knew of no way to block him from invading her subconscious. Her palm slapped against her face as she contemplated her options. She could always get up and see if Fury could schedule a new mission to distract her. Or, she could try drinking again… The second option sounded tempting right about now.

Natasha forced herself out of bed and took a long, hot shower to clear her head. Once she finished, she slipped on a pair of sleep shorts and a cami before sneaking out to her kitchen. Not feeling hungry, she went straight for a half-full bottle of vodka stashed in a cabinet. She didn't bother to grab a glass-she didn't need one. Natasha reluctantly took a swig, allowing for the liquid to burn her throat on the way down. Unfortunately, she could never successfully get drunk, but drinking managed to soothe her nerves. Natasha sat upon her bed and took another swig. Her insides felt warm, a welcome feeling. "Let's see if we can have a nice little chat, Loki." A smirk played upon her lips as she chugged the remainder of the bottle. Setting the bottle down on her nightstand, Natasha let her head fall against her cushiony pillows. It didn't take long for the red-head to fall asleep, this time with a grin.

_The sound of ocean waves crashing against the shore was a calm and welcoming sound. Natasha's bikini-clad body buried itself in the warm sand. She took a deep breath, inhaling the salty air. The sudden peacefulness of this dream was unexpected. Just knowing that Loki was scheming was enough to ease Natasha's mind. That and half a bottle of vodka was more than enough to wipe away her troubles. So long as Natasha was in control of things, she was fine. Rolling onto her stomach, she began to laugh as she took pleasure in her 'vacation.' A hand grabbed a fistful of sand and Natasha watched as tiny bits fell through the small opening of her closed fist. The grains of sand soon stopped falling even though Natasha could feel that there was more. Opening her hand, her eyes widened in surprise as she stared down at the ball of snow which had conformed to the shape of her closed fist._

_ "I'm not fond of this setting," an all too familiar voice stated from behind her._

_ Natasha rolled her eyes as she turned around and sat upright. "If this was your dream, it could be Russia in the middle of winter for all I care," she drawled. "But this is _my _dream. If you don't like it, then leave," she retorted, throwing the snowball towards his face._

_ Loki easily swatted the snowball away with his hand. "The view is rather nice, despite the heat," he coyly remarked as he got an eyeful of the assassin in her black bikini. _

_ She narrowed her eyes at him. There was no point in wasting time arguing with him. Right now, Natasha needed to have a nice chat with him. "There has to be another reason why you keep doing this. Is prison really that boring?"_

_ The god stared down at her, his hands clasped behind his back. "I already told you that I prefer messing with you while you slumber," he reminded her._

_ "But how do you do it?" she prodded, drawing her knees up to her chest. "I know it's magic, but are you asleep when you do it?"_

_ "No, actually," he coolly informed her. "I am fully conscious of my actions when performing a spell such as this," he informed her matter-of-factly._

_ Natasha ignored his stuck-up attitude and came to a realization. "So what, then? You sleep after you're done messing with me? I never thought about Asgard's time zone before…"_

_ "No," he quickly replied. There was a hint of pain in his voice. "Like you, I… cannot sleep."_

_ The red-head eyed him curiously. "So even gods have trouble sleeping?" she snorted. "That's reassuring…"_

_ Loki shot her a glare, but once he saw her carefree smile, he couldn't help but return the simple gesture. "Is it?"_

_ "Yeah." Natasha laid back down in the sand, resting her head against her hands. _

_ The trickster kicked at the sand with his boot. He didn't want to get all dirty…but seeing that it was a dream… Loki sighed, then took a seat beside Natasha. "It must be nice to have a dream as calming as this," he said quietly._

_ "Yeah, thanks for this," Natasha smirked. "You know, if I had magic, I'd probably mss with your dream, too." Especially for brainwashing Clint and nearly destroying the city… _

_ Loki chuckled under his breath. Suddenly, his eyelids grew heavy. Funny, he had never felt his sleeplessness affect him until now. _

_ "I actually don't mind you invading my brain if you're not gonna bother me," she shrugged, closing her eyes. "I've learned something about you today. You can't sleep-just like me. Actually," she breathed. "We're not that different, are we?" There was no response, so Natasha opened her eyes, only to find Loki missing. "Loki?"_

Natasha woke up that morning feeling more well-rested than usual. Usually, she hated Loki inside her dreams… so why was worried about his disappearance? Her alarm clock read 7:37 AM. After a good night's sleep (for once), Natasha knew that she had work to do. She could always worry about Loki later for when she was asleep. Natasha knew he would return and perhaps they would have a nice conversation again.


	5. I'm desperate to connect

** "Your heart's a mess**  
**You won't admit to it**  
**It makes no sense**  
**But I'm desperate to connect**  
**You can't live like this"**

**Hearts a Mess ~Gotye **

_"Nat!" Clint screamed. "Natasha!" An alien creature had one hand around the archer's neck, the other grasping his wrist. Clint let out a pained cry as the alien began to pull his head in one direction and his arm in the other._

_ Natasha fired off multiple gunshots at the creature's head, screaming swears in the process. "Let him go!" Out of bullets, she threw her gun aside and charged towards the alien. "Clint!" she shrieked, her cries mixing with his. _

_ "Natasha!" The voice that called out to her didn't belong to Clint Barton._

_ "Loki?" Natasha whirled around, gasping in shock. Why was he here? Was he going to kill her? Or Clint? Her mind began to race as her fear-stricken eyes met with his._

_ The god grabbed her by the arm and jerked her against his chest. "This is just a dream! It's not real!" he hissed._

_ "N-No, it's…" Natasha turned around to face Clint, but he had vanished, as did the alien. The worry etched into her face slowly ebbed away. Just a dream… But it felt too real to her… "A dream," she exhaled. Natasha felt like a fool for getting so caught up in her imagination. "Shit…"_

_ Loki let go of her arm and managed a calming smile. "Did you really believe that it was real?"_

_ "It sure as hell felt like it," she groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Just when I thought the nightmare streak was over…" The spy leaned against a nearby phone pole as she tried to get herself together. Now that she was aware that it was a dream, she felt calmer. The city surrounding her had also returned to its natural, un-destroyed state. _

_ "It's fine, now," Loki reminded her._

_ "Yeah, thanks to you." Never in a million years did Natasha expect for Loki to come to the rescue, even if the danger wasn't real… "Funny," she forced a laugh as her eyes met with his, "usually you're the one _causing _my nightmares."_

_ Loki bowed his head, slyly grinning. "Yes, it would seem that that is how our meetings have carried on thus far."_

_ She began to laugh quietly. "So what made you decide to play the good guy today?" she wondered, raising a brow._

_ The god was hesitant in replying. "I rather enjoyed our conversation last night."_

_ "You liked it so much that you disappeared," she remarked, crossing her arms. _

_ "I fell asleep, actually," Loki said quietly. "In doing so, my magic failed…"_

_ Natasha couldn't hide her laughter. "The great Loki failed?" she mused. "Interesting…" She noticed his brows furrow together in anger. Natasha decided to change the topic before things got messy. "You told me you couldn't sleep-did you sleep well?" she wondered, casually approaching the god._

_ A genuinely kind smile formed across his lips. "Yes, actually." Loki smiled for Natasha, a look of gratitude within his emerald eyes. "The first good night's sleep in a long while, actually. Thank you."_

_ Her smile fell as his words sank in. A small part of her was glad that he couldn't sleep-he deserved it. But there was a much larger part that actually felt bad for him. She had heard Thor mention Loki's true parentage and how Loki chose to take a fall, which Thor believed to have killed him. Natasha knew that he had it much worse in terms of sleepless nights. Maybe that was what caused him to snap and try to destroy a whole city… "Guess that's two of us who slept well," she replied with a grin. "So what now?" she suddenly asked. "You're not gonna fall asleep on me again, are you?"_

_ "That would be nice if I can." He began to chuckle under his breath. "I'd much prefer talking, though, if you don't mind. Imprisonment has not been kind to me, I'm afraid…" He began to clench his fists at his sides. Just by looking at Natasha, Loki could tell that she was curious for an answer. "No one wants to visit one as dangerous as myself, Ms. Romanoff," he began. "Rarely, my Mother will pay a visit, but only because the All-Father will allow it."_

_ Natasha's expression hardened. "He won't even let her see her own son?"_

_ "Well, we're not exactly blood related…"_

_ "You refer to her as your Mom, though," she pointed out. "She must mean a lot to you." Natasha managed a small smile. She could tell by the sincerity in his eyes that Loki truly cared. In her opinion, the poor guy seemed to be misunderstood. _

_ "Yes, well…" Loki turned on his heel and walked away from the spy. "She has been the only one to understand."_

_ Natasha slowly approached him from behind. "I understand you," she suddenly said. "Last night I was just thinking how you and I really aren't that different," she admitted. "I think you disappeared before you heard me say it." She walked ahead of Loki and turned to face him._

_ The trickster stopped in his tracks. "We may be alike," Loki began with narrowed eyes, "but you, Ms. Romanoff are far stronger than myself."_

_ "'Stronger?'" she asked, raising a brow in interest. "What happened to being above everyone else?"_

_ Loki began to walk along the pavement with Natasha at his side. "Unlike myself, you have achieved redemption. I am afraid that isn't possible for me," the god muttered under his breath. _

_ "Have you tried?" Natasha asked. "Loki…" She took his hand in an effort to hold him back. "If you really want your family to forgive you, then show that you're sorry."_

_ He jerked his hand away from her grasp. "Odin will not listen to a traitor!" he snapped at her. _

_ "Have you tried talking with him?" she asked, trying to reason with the god._

_ Loki mockingly cackled at her suggestion. "Odin doesn't even know that my Mother released me from that-that __**contraption**__ Stark put on me!" he spat. Loki noticed the confusion on the woman's face. "He and Thor wanted the device left on!" He grabbed Natasha by the shoulders. "So I could tell no more lies!" Tears began forming in his eyes. "Because lies are the only words I speak!" He shoved Natasha backwards._

The next thing Loki knew, he was back in his dark and humid cell, alone. In his moment of frustration, his actions had forced Natasha to awaken from her dream. Despite the anger he felt, the tears rolling down his cheeks begged to differ. The very mention of Thor and Odin was enough to set him off…right when he and the Midgardian were starting to have a nice chat, too.

"Loki?" Frigga's voice softly called out to him. In her hand, she held a ball of light which brightened up the dungeon a bit. "Were you asleep? I noticed you staring off into space…"

The raven-haired man shook his head in reply.

Frigga set the orb of light on the ground. She then sat on the ground in front of the glass cell. "Is there anything I can get for you, dear? Another book, a dri-"

Loki interrupted her before she could finish. "Death," he stated. His glassy eyes gazed upon his Mother's pretty face.

"Oh, Loki, don't talk like that!" she warned him. "Odin will come to his senses soon enough. I've been persuading him to speak with you."

He managed a weak laugh as the back of his head rested against a cell wall. "He'll never come. No matter how many times I apologise…" For a moment, he felt as though he was talking to Natasha again. "Even if I beg, he will never forgive me for what I have done."

"You mustn't speak like that," Frigga said. She sadly stared at her son, who sat helplessly on the floor. "I'll use force if I have to. Odin knows better than to leave you like this forever!" She heard Loki begin to chuckle and paused. "Is this amusing to you?"

"No," the trickster answered with a smile. "You sound like someone I know, is all…"

**"You have lost**  
**(Too much love)**  
**To fear, doubt and distrust**  
**(It's not enough)**  
**You just threw away the key**  
**To your heart"**


	6. Time it took us

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who's reading! Also, thank you to the reviewers/favers/followers!**

**"****Time it took us**

**To where the water was**

**That's what the water gave me..."**

**What the Water Gave Me ~Florence and the Machine**

_Snow crunched beneath Natasha's heels as she trudged through a thick blanket of frost. The woman pulled her wool coat close to her. Usually, she was fine with the chill, but the howling wind that blew through her curls was too much. Squinting her eyes, she couldn't see anything inches from her face. The blizzard made it far too difficult to see anything. Still, Natasha needed to complete her mission… only she wasn't sure what her current mission was. For the first time while on duty, the Black Widow was completely lost amidst a snow storm. It wasn't like her at all to forget something as vital as this. _Remember your briefing, Romanoff! _She scolded herself. The assassin sat down in the snow and felt a chill run up her spine. Funny, for whatever reason, the cold could only make her think of…_

_"Ms. Romanoff?" a familiar voice beckoned._

_"Loki?" She quickly rose to her feet._

_"I see the weather's changed here," the god playfully smirked as he now stood before her. His raven hair blew in the wind, making it a casual disarray. Dressed in his usual Asgardian garments of black and green, Loki was perfectly fine with the freezing temperature._

_"What?" Natasha was completely clueless as to what the god meant. "Why are you even-"_

_"Can you not remember your previous dreams?" he interrupted._

_Her mouth opened as if to speak, but nothing came out. After a moment alone with her thoughts, Natasha's eyes lit up with a sudden realization. "This is a dream," she whispered, more to herself. "Sorry, I… get really sucked into this…" Her eyes met with the god's._

_"I understand," Loki replied with a smile. "We all fall victim to our subconscious at one point or another. _

_"That's the point of dreams, I guess-you're supposed to believe in them." She tore her gaze away from Loki and noticed that the snow had stopped falling. The two were standing all alone amidst snow-covered trees, surrounded by blindingly white snow. Natasha allowed herself to fall back against the soft snow, laughing as she did so. "God, I feel like a kid," she smirked._

_Loki eyed her curiously. "Do you recall something like this from your childhood?"_

_She stared up at him, her smile fading. "No. I can't remember anything, actually…"_

_He wondered if he had upset her. "You know," Loki began, sitting himself on the ground beside her, "a funny thought occurred to me recently…"_

_"Oh yeah?" Natasha sat up, ignoring the snowflakes that had stuck to her hair and coat._

_"My Mother paid me a visit this morning." A small smile formed across his lips. His eyes fell upon the snow at his feet._

_"Really?" Natasha smiled in return. She could tell just by the look in his eyes that he was truly happy._

_"Yes. It's funny, actually," he continued. "We were discussing the All-Father and the way Mother spoke sounded just like you." He turned his head so he could look her in the eyes._

_Natasha wasn't sure how to reply. Right now, she was taken aback by the sincerity of Loki's words-there was something about them that said 'love' to her. The seemingly heartless god was a Mama's boy underneath the cold exterior. "I'll take that as a compliment. Thank you."_

_Loki nodded. "She is a strong woman, my Mother. Just like you."_

_"Why don't you tell me about her?" she prodded. "You seem really happy when you mention her. It's a nice change-seeing you happy." A hell of a lot nicer than seeing him bent on world domination, she figured. "And like I said-I can't remember my childhood. I don't know what having a mom's actually like."_

_"Where to begin, then?" Loki let out a small chuckle. _

_It felt odd seeing Loki smile so happily. "Your best memory," she suggested. _

_"Just knowing that my Mother still accepts me as her son is enough to sate me," the god said quietly. "She is the only one who doesn't take me for a monster."_

_"I don't," Natasha cut in. "I did call you a monster before, but I didn't mean it," she continued. "You're not half bad now that I've seen this softer side. This is what the real Loki is like, isn't he?"_

_He lowered his eyes. "This 'real' Loki you speak of is locked away in a cage," he growled. "Alone and treated like filth!" His knuckles turned white as his nails dug into his palm. "Only to suffer for all his years simply because the All-Father will allow it!" Just when he felt rage coming on, a warm hand over his suddenly calmed him. _

_"The real Loki cares about his Mother. He's only human." Natasha began to rub the back of his hand which was as cold as the snow. "He's not a monster-he has a heart and he cares," she continued in a soothing tone. "He's just misunderstood," she said. Her eyes remained fixed upon his fist which slowly unclenched. "People need to see that…" Natasha wasn't sure if her words were of any help to him. She glanced up at his face from beneath her long lashes. Her mouth fell open in surprise when she saw him staring at her with tears rolling down his cheeks. "Sor-"_

_Loki interrupted her before she could finish her apology. "Do you really mean that?" His voice was hollow._

_"Of course I do." She gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "You're really not the bad guy. Even if you think you are, you're not."_

_The god bowed his head in gratitude. "Thank you, Natasha… for understanding." His fingers laced with hers. The warmth of her touch calmed his nerves. Closing his eyes, he recalled a moment where his Mother had a similar effect on him. "There was one time...actually, several," he corrected himself with a quiet laugh. "Well, I had gotten into a fight with one of Thor's friends, Sif." Natasha smiled and nodded, listening to his every word. "The two of us had gotten into an argument over something silly, I assume-this was when we were both quite young. I tried to hold my own against her, but Sif is a born warrior. She pushed me into a thorn bush and began to laugh." Loki grimaced. "She then led Thor and his other friends away, leaving me alone with thorns stuck to my backside." He forced himself to laugh at the memory._

_ "Sounds painful," Natasha remarked. She wasn't sure how this story was supposed to make her feel. Did he want pity?_

_ "It was actually quite worth it when I arrived home. Mother saw me and asked what happened. I told her that Thor and his friends bullied me. The next thing I know, Mother finds Thor and gives him a decent spanking across the rear. I watched, quite pleased with the result." Natasha started to laugh, so he joined in. "Then my Mother removed all of the thorns." Loki's laughter had faded as he closed his eyes in contemplation. "After, she told me not to let anyone bring me down. 'Forgive your Brother, Loki,' she told me. 'He really does love you. As do I, and your Father…' Then she hugged me close to her. Her warmth has always been a reassurance." Loki slowly opened his eyes to Natasha's smiling face. The same goes for you," he added. "With you, Ms. Romanoff, I feel safe…"_

Natasha's eyes suddenly opened. Loki's words were echoing in her mind, making her heart race. She wasn't scared, though-not in the least...


	7. Time goes quicker between the two of us

**"And time goes quicker  
Between the two of us…"**

_"Wait-so you just turned the wine into snakes? Just like that?" Natasha laughed. For the past week, Loki had been appearing in her dreams where they chatted to one another. The settings had always been different in Natasha's dreams. One night, they were both in Moscow and Natasha told Loki about how a group of henchman thought they had her in their clutches (boy, were they wrong). In another, the two were at a café in New York where Loki admitted just how terrified he was of the Chitauri soldiers. Natasha managed to learn more about him in their little chats. She knew that he was fond of the colour green, sweets, and (although he never admitted it) he cared about Thor. The only downside to their conversations was that they always felt far-too short lived-Natasha felt that way, at least. Her need to awaken always snapped her out of the dreamland, leaving many a conversation unfinished._

_"My magic can do far more than menial child's play," he informed her with a toothy grin. Loki also managed to get to know the spy better. He tried to push aside everything Clint Barton had told him about her-Loki wanted to learn about Natasha Romanoff from the woman herself. He came to discover that she enjoyed solitude, strong liquor, and classic literature, just to name a few. _

_"Can you show me something now?" she wondered. Tonight, the two were both seated in Natasha's kitchen. It felt odd to be in her own home while dreaming, but at least she had company to add interest. _

_ Loki folded his hands atop the table. "I'm already using a spell just to be here," he reminded her. "Well…" He paused and stared at the glass tabletop in silence. The god knew that his magic would surely have its limits, especially since he was using a decent amount of energy just to be with her. Loki focused, and after a moment, he had summoned a red rose into his hand. It wasn't the bouquet he had been trying for, but it was something, at least. "If I were actually with you, I could do far more. My magic is limited here," he said, outstretching his arm to give her the flower._

_ "It's beautiful. Thank you." Natasha accepted his offering with a smile. "Maybe if our paths do cross again, you can show me some more magic tricks."_

_ The god nodded in reply, chuckling. "It would be my pleasure. "_

_ "In return, I'll show you some tricks of my own…"_

_ "Oh?" He cocked a brow in curiosity._

_ "I can easily make drinks disappear if you give me a few minutes. And…" She slowly removed her black leather jacket. "That's not the only thing I can make disappear…" _

Just when she lifted up the hem of her shirt, she abruptly woke up, thoroughly embarrassed. "Oh, god," she groaned, slapping her hand against her face. "That was just a dream," Natasha told herself. "You have no control over what goes on…" If Loki ever brought it up, she would say that anything was fair game in a dream. Still, that wouldn't wipe away her humiliation. If anything, it showed that the two were having a good time. And perhaps getting along a little _too_ well… She shook her head at the notion. The two definitely had an un-severable understanding of what one another had experienced. That mutual understanding was enough for Natasha to consider Loki a friend. Natasha rolled out of bed and padded towards the kitchen to make some coffee. As she passed the kitchen table, she stopped. In the corner of her eye, she caught sight of something red. She turned her head and her mouth formed an 'o' of surprise. There, resting at her place on the table, was a red rose.

…

When Loki was forced back into his own mind, he began laughing to himself. "Such a shame," he whispered to himself. Just when Natasha was about to reveal more of herself to him, the fun came to an end. "Perhaps next time…" Loki sprawled out against his sofa bed, burying his face in the dark velvet fabric. Despite his pleasant conversations with Natasha, he was still afraid of sleep. The idea of nightmares creeping in and disturbing his slumber frightened him… However, the trickster could feel how the prolonged use of his magic made him exhausted. He needed his strength if he wanted to continue meeting with Natasha. For this sole reason, he closed his eyes and easily fell asleep. His dreams, however, were far from easy…

…..

_That night, Natasha was wandering the halls of the Avengers Tower. While admiring the skyline through the wall-length window, she heard a set of faint footsteps. The faintest trace of a smile formed at the corners of her lips. She was good at recognizing the habits of those she knew closely. There was only one of her acquaintances with long and quiet strides… "Loki," she stated. Natasha didn't need to turn around. She knew it was him._

_Loki approached the window and stood faithfully by her right hand side. "Ms. Romanoff." His voice was distant as he gazed out at the orange and red sky. _

_"Does the sun set on Asgard?" she wondered. _

_"Yes," he replied. "It is much lovelier than this, though."_

_Her smile softened. "I'd like to see that someday…"_

_Loki stared at her from the corner of his eye. "Are you trying to imply something?" There was a hint of anger in his voice._

_"Loki?" Her concern took over. "What's with the attitude?" she asked, crossing her arms._

_The god shut his eyes and took a deep breath. "Forgive me." He didn't mean to snap at her. Loki was feeling drained from his lack of sleep. "I cannot take you there, is all…"_

_"Did something happen back home? You don't seem like yourself," Natasha informed him. "How about you tell me about it…" It came out as a statement, rather than a suggestion. _

_"I'm tired, is all," Loki explained. "Sleep has rarely come easy for me, especially as of late…"_

_"Then tell me," the spy repeated. "You're the one who helped me sleep better…even though you're also the reason I couldn't sleep." Natasha cracked a playful smile for him. "Maybe I can help you this time."_

_Loki's shoulders sagged as he shook his head. "There is nothing you can do against one whose power surpasses even mine," he warned her."This is a punishment I have brought upon myself."_

_Natasha eyed him warily. "Is this about Odin?" Loki refused to answer it so she grabbed hold of his arm. "Loki?"_

_There was an icy glare in his eyes as Loki roughly pulled his arm away. "Don't touch me!" he hissed at her._

_Natasha responded by slapping him across the cheek. "I'm trying to __**help **__you!"_

_Loki scowled as he stared down at the woman. "I never asked for your help, nor do I require it!" he snapped, turning his back to her. He was growing tired of her whining. Loki figured that ending his spell to sit alone in his burning cell would be far more pleasant than this. The last thing he wanted was to burden her with his problems. Keeping to himself was a much safer option. No one but himself would end up hurt this way._

_"Will you stop trying to push me away and actually __**talk**_ _to me?!" Natasha demanded. _

_Just before Loki could end their connection, her words came crashing over him like a tidal wave. Was he distancing her? the god wondered to himself. Was his pride going to take over and cause him to push her away? The one and only person who could truly understand him? _

_"Are you listening to me?" Natasha watched as his shoulders tensed up. "Loki!" Unafraid of what Loki would do, Natasha grabbed a tail of his leather coat and yanked on it. "Look at me! Loki!" she huffed._

_She wasn't worth the risk. Loki knew that he would never forgive himself if he purposefully left her behind. He was confused, though. And tired. Oh, so tired. He knew that his magic was being limited due to exhaustion. Perhaps he could use her help, after all. Loki decided to take a chance and see if his equal would be able to help him in some small way. The burden of his nightmares and the stress of being locked up by his so-called 'Father' became far too much for the trickster to handle. "Ms. Romanoff…" He turned around to her, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Please help me…" _

**_"_****Oh, my love, don't forsake me  
Take what the water gave me"**

**What the Water Gave Me ~FatM**


	8. Roads Untraveled

I am Loki Laufeyson. I am not to be trusted. I have made a deal with a being stronger than myself. Because of that, I nearly destroyed Midgard… It is for that reason that I cannot sleep at night.

**"Weep not for roads untraveled  
Weep not for paths left alone  
'Cause beyond every bend  
Is a long blinding end  
It's the worst kind of pain  
I've known"**

_ "Are you ready to talk to me?" Natasha quietly asked. She and Loki had moved over to a nearby couch. Loki rested his head in her lap while she stroked his slicked back hair in a soothing manner._

_ "He calls himself Thanos," Loki began. "It is he who had given me the scepter and the army…" Loki felt like a weight had been lifted from his chest-he never had the chance to tell this to anyone. He was always afraid that __**he**_ _would overhear. Loki never realized just how safe he felt inside Natasha's subconscious before... "And I failed him…"_

_ Natasha's fingers gingerly traced against his scalp. "How exactly did you fail him?" she asked calmly. _

_ Hearing Natasha's silky voice relaxed him. The god felt a sense of security while close to the warmth of her body. "He wanted to rule over Midgard," Loki explained after a pause. "Thanos craved power and the Tesseract… I led an army and failed in trying to rule your city. For that, he wishes me dead."_

_ The red-head's brows furrowed. "Do you know for sure?" Natasha hoped that Loki wouldn't grow upset with her prying. She needed answers if she was to help him._

_ Loki slowly sat upright and kept his gaze away from Natasha. "He haunts my nightmares, Ms. Romanoff, in the same way that I had once haunted yours." He glanced at her from the corner of his eye. Regret filled his heart for a moment at the very memory. That was all before he had gotten to know the woman. Things were different now. "Luckily, Odin's cage has restrained my magic, keeping my location a secret… However, I once revealed to him that the All-Father has hidden away something that belongs to him," Loki uneasily added._

_ "He won't find you." Natasha's eyes held a look of confidence and promise as her gaze met with the god's. "You'll be okay…" Her warm hand reached out to give his a reassuring squeeze. _

_ "No," he breathed, feeling defeated. "Just last night, he swore that once he acquires a strong group of underlings, he will invade Asgard."_

_ "You're locked up, though," she reminded Loki. "You're safe-you have Odin, Thor, all of the warriors- Loki, they'll stop this guy before he comes near you!"_

_ Loki clenched his jaw. "That's just it… The All-Father may not stand a chance against Thanos, let alone his new army! I promised Thanos something of great value-something in Odin's possession… if he was to seize it, Asgard will fall. All because of my mistake." The trickster's expression hardened. The mistakes of his past were all going to come back and haunt him soon enough. Even though Loki refused to say it aloud, he would forever hate himself if something happened to Thor or their Mother because of this._

_ "What did your Mother say about this?" she asked. Loki answered her with a blank expression across his features. "Haven't you told her?"_

_ "She never paid me a visit today…"_

_ "You need to let someone know! Tell Frigga and have Odin bring the guys and I up there to help out."_

_ Although she was only trying to help, Loki couldn't contain his laughter. "You are truly a fool if you expect for anyone to believe _me!_" he scoffed._

_ Natasha felt a pang in her chest. "Frigga won't believe you? Your own Mother?"_

_ The trickster narrowed his eyes. There was a long pause before he bothered answering her. "She would." Loki had hope that his own Mother would have faith in him. However… "I fear that the All-Father will deem any news that passes my lips as a lie."_

_"Hey…" Natasha's hand cupped his cheek. "You gotta trust him more. And if worse comes to worse, just send the Avengers to help." She offered him a warm smile._

_ His slender fingers reached out to play with one of her fiery curls. "Thank you." His voice was barely a whisper. "I suppose you are right. Perhaps I should entrust some faith into Odin's powers…"_

_ "He's strong-I mean, he's gotta be if he's the 'All-Father,' right?"_

_ "He is powerful, yes," Loki agreed. But would that power be enough? Loki made a mental note to himself to make sure his Mother hid Thanos' gauntlet where he could never reach it. "I'm grateful that I didn't let my pride get in the way of asking for your help." A kind smile formed across his lips. "You have put my mind at ease, once again."_

_ "Any time, Loki," Natasha grinned. "I've got your back."_

**"Weep not for roads untraveled  
Weep not for sights unseen  
May your love never end  
And if you need a friend  
There's a seat here alongside me"**

**Roads Untraveled ~Linkin Park**


	9. Worry not, everything is sound

**"From here the caravans are kids toys**  
**And I can hold them all in my palm**  
**I watch the sea creep round the corner**  
**It connects the dots from here to you"**

_ "So did Frigga ever visit you?" Natasha wondered. She currently sat beside Loki on the bench within his old S.H.I.E.L.D. approved cell. Natasha felt bad that her dream had to be in a cage, of all places, but she had no control. Loki seemed satisfied enough in having her seated beside him, though. _

_ "I'm afraid not," the god answered. He stared down at his hands which were neatly folded in his lap. _

_ Natasha couldn't help but notice the way he repeatedly tapped his foot, a nervous gesture. "Hey," she said soothingly. Her hand reached out to touch his thigh. "You're gonna be okay. Asgard's full of warriors, right? This Thanos guy doesn't stand a chance."_

_ Loki nodded and managed a weak smile. He was grateful for her moral support-he knew that he was becoming a nervous wreck. "I only hope that Heimdall will be able to foresee his coming. What if Thanos cloaks both he and his army?" He turned to Natasha, wild-eyed. "I've slipped past Heimdall before-he can't see everything! He-"_

_ She pressed a finger to his lips in an effort to shush him. "It's gonna be okay. Don't worry," Natasha whispered, locking her gaze with his. His mouth opened as if to speak, but Natasha raised a brow and applied more force against his lips. "No," she stated. "You're going to lie down, and you're going to relax." This wasn't a request- it was an order. _

_ Despite the worry building up inside of Loki, he knew that Natasha wouldn't deal with his doubts any further. She was a strong woman who was going to have things handled her way. The trickster frowned and heaved a sigh. "I'll oblige," he answered. "Only because I've grown tired." He took it upon himself to make himself comfortable by using her lap as his pillow._

_ "You should sleep if you're tired," Natasha reminded him. "Don't waste your time and magic by coming here…"_

_ There was a brief pause as Loki closed his eyes. "I don't want to sleep. My dreams are haunted," he breathed. "Yet you put my mind at rest." There was the faintest trace of a smile across his lips. "If I am to fall asleep, then I thank you."_

_ "Alright," Natasha agreed. "Just relax." She began to twirl a lock of his raven hair around her finger. Upon watching his face, she couldn't help but notice how innocent and child-like he looked. It was hard to believe that this was the same man killing hundreds of people on a quest for world domination. But that wasn't Loki-Natasha now knew that it was this 'Thanos' character pulling Loki's strings like a puppet. She noticed his breathing even out. His features seemed much more relaxed now. The back of her fingers began stroking the delicate curve of his cheekbone._

_ "That feels nice," he whispered, as if in a daze. _

_ Natasha could have sworn that he was asleep, but he would've already vanished if that had happened. She continued brushing her soft fingers against his cheek in reply. Natasha began to hum a soothing melody. After that, it didn't take long for Loki to disappear. "Sweet dreams, Loki," she whispered to her now empty lap._

_…..._

Loki easily fell asleep to the sound of Natasha's soothing hums. He was surprised by just how relaxed she made him. For a deadly assassin, she had such a gentle and loving side-unless that was just the Natasha within her dreams… Nonetheless, Loki had fallen fast asleep in his musty cell. Although Natasha freed his mind of all frets, the nightmares managed to ruin his sweet thoughts.

_"It won't be much longer now," a deep voice echoed._

_ Loki jerked his head from side to side, desperate to find the source of the familiar voice. A thick purple fog surrounded the god, rendering his vision useless. "Show yourself!" he demanded in the most condescending voice he could muster. Loki couldn't show any traces of fear-not with _him _lurking._

_ "Such confidence," the bodiless voice continued. "Are you willing to return what is rightfully mine?"_

_ Loki turned around, watching as the fog took on the shape of a purple-faced alien clad in blue and gold. "I am afraid I don't have access to the gauntlet at the moment." He clasped his hands behind his back and stared up at Thanos, who was at least three heads taller than he was. _

_ "My army is almost ready, Laufeyson," Thanos taunted. "And when it is, Asgard will be the first realm I destroy."_

_ The trickster began to tightly squeeze his wrist. If Asgard fell, it would be all his fault… "Odin has hidden what you seek," he easily lied. "Even if you and your army do arrive, know that the people of Asgard have warriors of their own. Not to mention, they have the help of the Midgardians who destroyed your first army…" He managed a cocky smirk despite how anxious he felt on the inside. Natasha did say that she had his back, though, and he believed in her. _

_ "The army misguided by the bastard son!" Thanos mockingly cackled. His crystal blue eyes glared down at Loki and he could see that his words had upset him. "Once I defeat Odin and take back the Infinity Gauntlet, I will move on to destroying Midgard, seeing as how you failed to conquer it before. Pathetic!"_

_ His blood began to boil upon hearing Thanos' taunts. Loki lowered his eyes, glaring daggers into the mud at his feet. "You're a fool if you think you can defeat the All-Father, let alone his son, the god of thunder…"_

_ "Do you intend to help them?" Thanos wondered curiously. "Or do you intend on hiding like the little coward you are?" He heard the god scowl and smiled. "Just how long do you intend on hiding for? Face your death like the man you are!"_

_ The trickster shot Thanos a menacing glare. He wasn't about to admit to the enemy that he was under lockdown. "If you dare to come near me, I will be helping Odin destroy you."_

_ "So you hide on Asgard?"_

_ "Yes," Loki firmly stated. Thanos didn't need to know _where _he was on Asgard. "And our army is ready." He had faith in the help of Natasha and her friends, along with the strength of Thor and Asgard's best warriors… All he needed was a word with his Mother, which wouldn't be hard for him to manage._

_ Thanos chuckled in reply. "Lie to me again and see what happens." Clouds of thick smog formed around the titan's body. _

Shortly after Thanos' disappearance, Loki abruptly awoke, his body trembling slightly. He slapped his hand against his face, regretting everything he had said to the enemy. Loki promised an army, yet in reality, he had nothing. Not only that, but the god of lies stated that he would fight alongside the All-Father, the very man who was responsible for his captivity. After a deep breath, Loki shut his eyes and put his magic to work. "Oh, Mother, please help me," he breathed.

_Loki found himself walking through a garden of blue roses. He recognised this place-he had been here many times before. Treading past rows of flowers, Loki spotted the back of his Mother's head of golden braids. Sitting amongst the grass full of lush flowers was most definitely Frigga. But she wasn't alone. Accompanying her was a child with short, black hair. "Mo-" Loki was too shocked to finish. His eyes met with those far-too familiar emerald orbs of the child. Loki knew this child, for years ago, he _was _this child. _

_"Loki?" Frigga turned around, smiling in surprise. "My Loki."_

_Loki tore his gaze away from that of his younger self. "Mother, I need you to listen to me carefully," he began in a grave tone._

_The goddess rose to her feet as she hurried to her son's side. "What is wrong, Loki?"_

_"Tell Odin to hide the Infinity Gauntlet. And to prepare for war." The trickster's eyes narrowed._

_"What is this about?" she asked, growing worried. _

_He firmly grabbed his Mother's shoulders. "You must believe me-Mother, you must tell Odin that you sense a great danger!"_

_"How do you know this? Loki?" Frigga rarely saw her son in such a state of desperation. _

_Loki lowered his eyes. "Thanos," he began. The god then proceeded to tell his Mother exactly what he had told Natasha, followed by what had occurred in his earlier dream. "Don't tell Odin I gave you this information. He'll believe you, not me" he sadly added._

_"Loki." Frigga's hand reached up to cup her son's cheek. "I will let your Father know. Whoever this Thanos is, your Father will handle things. There will be no wars while he reigns." _

_He heaved a sigh. "I certainly hope so…"_

_"Trust him, Loki." Her words were reminiscent of what Natasha had told him._

_Loki couldn't hide a small smile at the thought of Natasha Romanoff. "I do. I trust him…" He doesn't trust me, though, Loki said to himself. His eyes wandered over to young Loki, who had busied himself with picking flowers. "You're dreaming about me…" His voice was hardly a whisper._

_Frigga smiled warmly at the young Loki, then turned to the grown man before her. "I love you, Loki. My beloved son."_

_Her words touched his heart that so few people believed he had. Hearing his Mother say that she loved him and being called her son made him feel truly happy. He loved her dearly. She was, after all, one of two people who truly cared about him. A choked sob escaped him as he threw his arms around his Mother. "I love you, Mother," he whispered against her hair._

**"Worry not everything is sound**  
**This is the safest place you've found**  
**The only noise beating out is ours**  
**Lacing our tea from honey jars**

**Why don't you rest your fragile bones**  
**A minute ago you looked alone**  
**Stop waving your arms you're safe and dry**  
**Breathe in and drink up the winter sky"**

**The Sunlight Through the Flags ~Snow Patrol**


	10. Tell me there is hope for me

**A/N: This chapter involves spoilers for the plot of Thor 2**

_Natasha felt oddly at ease whilst wandering a crowded New York street. She had seized her day off from work as an opportunity to go clothes shopping in the city. It felt odd for her to be spending a day off in the city buying clothes, though. Usually, she spent her time relaxing in her apartment with a book, or spending some time at the gym. Buying new clothes wasn't something she did very often, either. Funny, she thought to herself, she couldn't even recall what exactly she had bought. While her mind wandered, the people around her began bolting past her, desperately running for cover. Natasha snapped out of her daze the second a large shadow loomed overhead. She looked towards the sky and glared up at the silver chariot that hovered several feet above her head. The Black Widow instinctively pulled her gun out from one of the shopping bags in her hand. Suddenly, Natasha remembered that she wasn't here to shop-this was a mission. A mission to stop Thanos... But she and Loki were the only ones who knew of him… so how was this her mission? _You're dreaming, Romanoff, _the Black Widow told herself, dropping her bags to the ground. Dreaming… That made much more sense to her. Even if she was dreaming, that didn't stop the chariot from lowering itself to the ground. A thick smoke filled the air, making it hard for Natasha to see. _

_"Where is he?" a deep voice demanded._

_The spy didn't recognise the voice at all, but she had a feeling that she knew exactly who the voice was looking for. A beam of blue light burst through the smoke and nearly blinded Natasha. "Shit!" she hissed as the bolt of light came towards her chest. She threw herself to the ground and rolled into a defensive crouch._

_"A nice save," a familiar voice commented from behind her. "I expect only the best from you, though."_

_Standing up, Natasha turned and smiled. The smoke had cleared, allowing for her to see Loki nearby. He stood tall and proud, dressed in his usual Asgardian garments of black leather. "Glad you finally came. Things are getting fun here."_

_Loki looked from side to side, only seeing the deserted city streets. "If this is fun, then I fail to see the amusement."_

_Natasha turned around, expecting to find Thanos and his chariot, but there was nothing. Not even a single trace of smoke. "He was just here…"_

_"You scared him off, it would seem," Loki chuckled. "You tend to have that effect on even the mightiest of men."_

_"I obviously haven't scared you off," she playfully remarked with a roll of her eyes._

_"Do you wish for me to leave you, Ms. Romanoff?" He could tell she was only playing around because of the smile on her face. Just by a simple look into her eyes, he could tell that she was happy to see him. _

_Natasha took a step closer to the god. There was something about him that stood out to her even more so than usual. _

_"Hmm?" he hummed. _

_Her gaze softened as she eyed him carefully. His smile was much wider than usual and there was a certain light within his emerald eyes. "You seem happier this time," she stated. His smile was intoxicating and she felt much more content as she watched him._

_Loki nodded and lowered his eyes. "I paid a visit to my Mother's dreams," he began softly._

_"Oh? So she'll tell Odin about Thanos, right?"_

_"Yes," he said quickly. "Yes, she will, but…" He let out a breathy chuckle. "She was dreaming about me… I saw myself as a child. We were in her garden together." The way he spoke made him sound like a little boy on Christmas._

_"That sounds nice." Natasha smiled warmly. _

_"I find it reassuring to know that… that she cares." A certain sadness crept into his voice._

_"She loves you," Natasha reminded him, taking his cold hand in hers. _

_Loki stared down at their hands with a calm smile. "She told me she did. And I said the same to her."_

_"Good for you," she replied, pursing her lips. Love, especially between parent and child, was foreign to the Black Widow. Since she couldn't remember what a mother's love felt like, she was trying to live vicariously through him, in a sense. Seeing Loki this happy made her happy, too. Oddly enough, his happiness felt like hers. The god was her equal, in a way, after all. Watching their fingers intertwine caused foreign feelings to stir about in her chest. Loki was more than her equal, though. He was like a missing piece within her puzzling life. _

_"Natasha?" He noticed the distant look in her eyes and grew concerned. "Are you well?"_

_"Yeah," she nodded, snapping out of her daze. "Just thinking…" Her fingers slipped away from his touch._

_"Oh?" He arched a brow in curiosity. "What about?"_

_"Love." The word escaped her lips without a second thought. She didn't even realize what she had said until the god repeated her._

_"'Love?'" Loki parroted._

_"Nothing," she defended in a dead-pan voice. Natasha recalled a dream that involved her nearly stripping in front of him. Thinking of that dream only made her feel like an idiot. Why would she think of _that _dream now? It only made her chest ache in discomfort. Natasha needed to shove aside any undisclosed feelings for the time being. Emotions, especially ones that she couldn't place, were a hindrance. She could feel Loki's eyes on her and could sense the sly grin across his lips. "You and Frigga," Natasha began. "This whole mother-son love thing-it's new to me," she shrugged. _

_"Forgive me," he breathed. "I forgot about your lack of parentage."_

_Natasha forced herself to laugh. "When you say it like that, you make it sound like I was born out of thin air or something. I had parents. I just don't remember them."_

_"I'm sorry." Regardless of the way she played it off with a laugh, he could tell that deep down, she was hurting. He would know-he often resorted to the same thing. Hiding his emotions made him feel safer. Even as a child growing up, Loki could never tell Thor that he envied him-Thor was his Brother… but not anymore…"Natasha, I-" Before he could finish, the sound of his Mother's voice yelling his name was weakening the link to his magic. "Mother?" he rasped._

_"Loki?" She eyed him curiously. The god disappeared for a split second. "What's happening?" she demanded, grabbing him by the shoulders. An uneasy feeling formed in the pit of her stomach. The next thing she knew, Loki was gone for good._

"Mother?" The first thing Loki saw upon snapping out of Natasha's dream were the light blue eyes of his Mother.

"You need to escape, Loki!" the goddess urged her son.

He shook his head. Before he did anything, he wanted answers. "What's happening?"

Frigga thrust a bundle larger than her head into Loki's chest. "Take this with you!"

"What is-"

"I told Odin of your visions. Heimdall warned us that an army of dark elves have slipped past him-we're being invaded!"

Loki's green eyes narrowed. _Thanos' army… _"Then I will help fight!" he growled.

"No!" Frigga snapped at him. "You are to leave and take the gauntlet with you!"

"This is…" Loki stared down at the heavy object swaddled in dark fabric that he held in his hands. "Odin trusts _me _with this?" he asked in surprise. As long as the five gems were with it, the Infinity Gauntlet's power was unlimited-it could make the user far stronger than anyone could imagine.

"He has scattered each of the gems belonging to it throughout the realms." Frigga saw just how disappointed this made her son. "He made a wise decision in doing so. Such power would corrupt even the best man, Loki." She reached out to brush a wavy strand of hair out of his face. "He wants for you to take it and be free, Loki," she told him with a smile. "Take yourself somewhere safe. Your Father will send his ravens when the elves have made their leave."

Loki shook his head. "You said this was an invasion. You expect me to leave when you are in danger?!"

"Your Father and Thor are dealing with the dark elves. Once they realize that what they seek isn't here, they will leave."

"Not without war," Loki snarled. His hands gripped the bundled up gauntlet and pulled it close to his chest.

"Loki, please." The goddess sighed. "We are all fighting to defend ourselves. Please find safety."

The trickster's expression changed from anger to horror in a matter of seconds upon hearing his Mother's words. Fighting to defend themselves? Loki felt the weight of his burden weighing down on him. This was all his fault. _He _brought this upon Asgard-upon his Mother! A woman who did nothing wrong! So why did she need to be dragged into his problem? "I would be a coward if I were to flee." Thanos' words had gotten to him. "I can't…This is my fault, after all."

"Loki, please!" Frigga begged. "Don't blame yourself for this. Odin should have seen this coming the day he took what belonged to this 'Thanos.'" Her son stared down at the bundle with a sigh. "Go. Leave us to defend our realm."

"Please don't fight." His brows furrowed in worry. "Mother, you mustn't!"

She flashed her son a knowing smile. "Do you doubt your Mother?" She reached into the sleeve of her silk, jade dress and drew a silver blade the size of her forearm. "You forget that it was I who taught you to wield a blade such as this," she reminded him.

"I've put you in danger." Loki's tone grew heavy. If Odin's queen was forced to be on defense, then this was truly dangerous. "I need to stay here."

"They're coming, Loki! You must go. Now!" She didn't mean to yell, but Loki was forcing her to resort to anger.

"And prove to your husband just how much of a coward I am?!" he snarled. "If he wants me gone, then he can cast me out himself! That would make **everyone **happy, wouldn't it?!" he seethed. Tears clouded his eyes as Loki's bottled-up emotions began to overflow. "I should have died the very moment I fell into the abyss. But no! I was cursed to live-and now look what has become of me! I'm a prisoner, Mother! My life has only brought misfortune to-"

Frigga struck him across the cheek with her hand. "Don't ever talk that way! Not to me, Loki Odinson!" Seeing her son in such pain was overwhelming. "I love you, Loki. That is exactly why I want you to leave! You'll be safe!"

"I choose to fight!" the god shouted. Like his Mother, he was skilled in the use of a blade-one of his many skills. Not to mention he had his magic.

"You will leave now before they find you!" Frigga yelled back just as loudly. The confusion in his teary eyes left her with no choice but to tell him the truth. "They're coming for you, Loki," she finally admitted. "The gauntlet, too, but they demand for you, as well! Your Father, as well as myself want you to flee now until this mess clears up!"

The tears began to fall from his eyes upon hearing the truth. "Odin wants me to be safe?" That notion made him feel more confused than anything.

There was a loud banging, followed by a crack as the dungeon door fell to the ground. Three dark elves barged into the dim room. Each was clad in the same black and gold set of armor. Aside from their heights and the different facial expression worn on the golden masks that hid their face, they looked the same.

Loki had never seen a dark elf in person, but he had heard many a tale as a young boy that left him too scared to sleep at night. The masks were the elves' most frightening feature, in Loki's opinion. Instead of eyes, they had hollow sockets of darkness. One with a frown etched into its mask approached Loki, wielding a double-bladed knife of gold.

"You are free to use the extent of your magic!" Frigga shouted. "Hurry, Loki!" The golden-haired goddess drove her blade through an elf's neck.

Before he left his Mother to fend for herself, he summoned a blade into one hand while the other hugged the gauntlet close to his chest. "Go to Hel where you belong!" Loki hissed, jabbing the blade in between a crevice in the elf's armor.

The elf, however, didn't go down so easily. It raised its knife high above its head. Before the elf could swing down, Loki rendered its body frozen in an ice casing.

"Loki!" Frigga cried.

The trickster felt a presence behind him. An elf equipped with a scythe was readying itself to lop off Loki's head with the steel blade. The god's dagger caught that of the scythe before any damage could be done to himself. "Mother, leave!" he growled between clenched teeth. "I vow to flee the very second you do!" Loki knew that he would have no other choice but to vanish-not now, though. Behind him, he could hear the cracking of ice. The elves were certainly stronger than anticipated. Then again, Thanos would only want the best warriors to fight for him.

As much as Frigga believed in her son's words, she knew that he wouldn't have time to work up a spell. Desperate to buy her beloved son some time, the goddess charged towards the nearly-thawed elf and brought her blade to its neck.

Loki cursed under his breath as he saw his Mother go in for an attack. She was making a reckless mistake, even though she was saving his skin. He made a mental note to thank her once all was said and done. The god of mischief put his namesake to good use by turning his opponent's weapon into a serpent that gladly sank its pointed fangs into the elf's neck. "Your downfall was choosing _me _as your opponent," Loki coldly remarked as the elf collapsed, letting out a choked wail as it did so. The snake was turned back into a scythe that rested beside the elf's now motionless body. "Now then…" He turned on his heel to find that Frigga had the dark elf in a head-lock.

The sharp edge of her blade pierced the through creature's neck and it let out a tortured screech. In one swift motion, Frigga sliced through a layer of protective armor as well as the elf's windpipe. She shoved it aside as blood sprayed from the wound. "Now, Loki," she tersely stated. "You must go. Await your Father's ravens before returning here."

He lowered his eyes. "Yes, Mother…" His eyes met with her crystal blue orbs. "Until then-" Loki was cut short as a masked face wearing an eerie grin teleported behind Frigga. "Mo-!" He hadn't a chance to finish crying out to her. In the blink of an eye, the dark elf had grabbed the goddess by the wrist and plunged her own dagger straight through her heart. Loki's eyes grew wide in terror as he saw the light disappear from within his Mother's eyes. Frigga's body fell to the hard ground. The next thing Loki knew, he was staring into two dark abysses, accompanied by a hauntingly menacing smile. The god's body refused to move an inch as Loki felt his world come crashing down. He wanted to scream, to cry-anything to let out the anger and sadness bubbling up inside him. Instead, Loki just felt numb. Before he could even blink, the elf had snaked a gloved hand around Loki's neck. "Kill me," Loki's voice was a pathetic whimper. Just as the elf began to squeeze the trickster's windpipe, a bolt of lightning lit up the room and electrocuted the dark elf. "Thor?" Blinded by the intensity of the lightning strike, Loki couldn't see his brother's face. It wasn't until he heard the voice that forced his knees to give in. Thor wasn't the one to save his life…

"Loki, you are to leave right now!" Odin jabbed his golden spear into the ground.

Odin. Never in a million centuries did Loki expect for the All-Father to save his life. Loki didn't want to live. Losing his Mother destroyed him. If anyone had to die, it should have been him. "Mother…" Loki helplessly reached out to touch his Mother's cheek. He quickly pulled his hand away as he felt her skin growing cold. She had always been so warm… His hand lowered to grasp the dagger's handle. He felt sick as he pulled the blade out from her blood-soaked chest. "Save her." Loki stared up at Odin, his body trembling.

"Loki…" Odin's eyes fell upon the limp form of his wife's corpse. "I'm sorry…"

"No!" Loki protested, glaring up at Odin. "You can save her!"

The All-Father shook his head. "Death has already taken her…"

"Then bring her back!" he demanded. Loki outstretched his arm which held Thanos' gauntlet. "This…"

"No, Loki," Odin declared, shaking his head. He took the object away from his son's grasp.

Loki's knuckles turned white from the force in which he gripped the dagger. "She wasn't meant to die! _I _should be the one dead!" His voice cracked as a choked sob escaped him. "This is my fault!" He threw his arms around Frigga's body. Loki didn't care how pathetic he looked-he was willing to give anything to bring his beloved Mother back. As he hugged her body closer, he felt her blood seeping into the scratchy material of his already dirty prison shirt.

"If anyone is to be at fault, it is I." Odin eyed the wrapped up gauntlet in his hand. "This is something I should have destroyed long ago. Such power should not be allowed to exist."

_"Please!"_ Loki shouted in desperation.

"You must go now, Loki." The All-Father pointed his spear down at the groveling god. "

"Save her, Father!" There was another flash of light, followed by darkness. Odin didn't even try saving his wife. Instead, the All-Father had used his magic to cast Loki out into darkness. Loki gripped his Mother's dagger close to his heart. His clothes were covered in her blood, as were his hands. Feeling lost and alone, he let out a pained cry, along with the tears that accompanied his despair.

"Loki?"

At the sound of his name, he turned his head to the right and was able to make out the fiery red hair of Natasha Romanoff in the darkness.

**"I'm crying out, I'm breaking down,  
I am fearing it all,  
Stuck inside these walls,  
Tell me there is hope for me  
Is anybody out there listening?"**

**I'm In Here ~Sia**

**A/N: Ever since it was revealed that someone was gonna die in Thor 2, I knew it was gonna be her. My heart hurts just thinking about it. Too many feels.**


	11. What the water gave us

**A/N: Thanks so much to everyone reviewing/faving/following/ and reading! You guys are awesome!**

**"****And oh, poor Atlas**

**The world's a beast of a burden**

**You've been holding on a long time"**

"What the hell…" Natasha breathed. She was positive that she had just heard Loki's cries. For a second, Natasha wondered if this was another dream. She had just woken up, though. Dreaming or not, Loki sounded hurt. She jumped out of her bed and gracefully made her way across the dark bedroom until she dropped to Loki's side. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness, but she wasn't sure if the man before her really _was _Loki. His hair was a tangled mess and his clothing wasn't the decorative garments that she had always seen Loki wear. She reached out to touch the man's cheek, forcing their gaze to meet. Staring into his tear-filled green eyes, Natasha saw that this was undeniably Loki, in the flesh. "Loki? What happened?" she whispered.

He dropped his Mother's dagger to the floor and instinctively threw his arms around Natasha. Loki felt like a helpless child as he buried his face against her chest, sobbing. Her body felt warm and comforting, just like his Mother's. The very thought only brought him more pain, forcing him to hug the red-head tighter.

Seeing that he wasn't going to answer her question right away, Natasha began running her fingers through the knots in his hair. The unmistakable scent of blood filled her nostrils, making her even more curious. Was Loki bleeding? Or did he _make _someone bleed? She bit down on her lip, wondering what she should do. If he was, by chance, dangerous, then she had a gun not too far away. For now, though, she chose to keep her voice soft and non-threatening. "Loki?"

The man responded with muffled cries. His ice-cold tears dampened the bare skin of Natasha's chest, along with her cami top. Loki couldn't bring himself to speak. There was a part of him that prayed this was all another nightmare brought about by Thanos. Natasha's arms embraced his body and gave him a reassuring squeeze. Although Loki knew that he was in the arms of Natasha Romanoff, he could only think of his Mother. Numbness took over once he felt that his tears had forsaken him. He took a deep breath in, then exhaled. Every intake of breath made his chest ache more and more, while exhaling only made him feel emptier. Loki turned his head to the side and listened to the sound of the woman's heartbeat. It sounded a bit faster than normal-he wondered if she was frightened-but it felt calming, nonetheless. After staring into the darkness for a few moments, listening only to the sound of Natasha's heart and steady breathing, her voice broke the silence.

"You need to tell me what's wrong…. I can't help you if you don't," she continued once his body stopped trembling. "Loki…" Natasha still wasn't sure what sort of situation she was dealing with, so she made sure to keep a soothing tone. Whatever the case, he seemed much calmer now.

"I killed her," Loki said weakly. Saying those words made everything feel real to him.

Natasha didn't want to know. Rather, she was too _afraid_ to know. "Loki…" She had a bad feeling that _'her' _was the woman Loki had told Natasha many a stories about… The agony in his voice only convinced her more.

"The dark elf may have been the one to kill her, but _I _am the sole reason they invaded…I should have died tonight, Ms. Romanoff…"

There was a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She closed her eyes for a moment, desperately hoping that it wasn't Frigga who had died. Of all people…

He pulled away from her embrace and looked the woman in the eyes. "My Mother is **dead!**" Loki spat, forcing Natasha to cringe. "She was killed by the very weapon she chose to defend herself with!" Loki snatched the blood-stained dagger from off the floor and held it up for Natasha to see. He rose to his feet, standing above her in a menacing manner.

Natasha didn't know Frigga personally. All she knew of the goddess was from Loki's stories. So why did she feel like her heart was breaking-like she had lost someone dear to her? Slowly, she stood up to be more at level with the god. She had never lost anyone close to her-emotional attachments were dangerous, especially in her risky line of duty. Natasha felt that the pain Loki was enduring must have been unbearable, though. The tears, the rage-all such powerful emotions. He needed someone to listen and console him before he did something reckless.

"**I **am who they seek! **_He _**is after me! He wants me dead!" the god continued, raising his voice. "I was about to die-_gladly, _I might add- until-" Loki could hardly bring himself to say it. Grasping the dagger tightly, he brought it dangerously close to Natasha's neck.

The Black Widow didn't even flinch. She wasn't afraid of the knife held inches from her skin- she had been through much more dangerous situations. "Until what?" she prodded. "Just let it all out," she added under her breath.

Loki let out a growl of anger as he threw the weapon to the floor. "Until the All-Father found it in his heart to save his 'son!'" Fresh tears formed in Loki's eyes.

An audible gasp escaped Natasha.

"I should have **died! ****_Me!_**" he screamed. "But he saved my life! And for what? So I can live with the suffering?" Loki stared down at his trembling, blood-stained hands in horror. The very sight of crimson was going to drive him to madness… until he found himself staring down at the red locks of Natasha. Suddenly, the red became bearable again.

She had thrown her arms around him, hugging him tightly. "It's gonna be ok, Loki," she whispered.

He remained silent as he rested his cheek against her hair. Deep in his heart, Loki knew that he would never be okay. Losing his Mother was a wound that would never heal.

"You'll sleep here," she ordered. Natasha didn't want to boss him around after what he went through, but she wouldn't stand for Loki moping. "Take a shower and I'll find some clothes for you." She didn't know how she would get him a change of clothes without being questioned. Her best choice would be to sneak into someone's room and hope they stayed asleep. Steve was going to be her first choice, since he was closest in height with the god.

Loki pulled away from her embrace. "There is no need, Ms. Romanoff." His tone was cold. "No one here will bother to stop my choice…"

Natasha didn't like the road he was turning to. "And your 'choice' is what? Killing yourself?" she wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"No one will notice I was even gone," he explained with narrowed eyes. "Rather, no one will care."

The assassin responded by giving him a swift smack across the cheek.

Loki stared at her with a puzzled expression. His hand began to rub his cheek which had started to sting.

"Quit being so damn selfish!" she snarled. "If you think no one cares, then you're wrong! Haven't our talks meant _anything _to you?!" Natasha demanded. "We've talked about everything-we opened up to each other. Are you trying to say that I don't care?" she fumed.

The god turned his head away, refusing to look at her. He couldn't deny that they had gotten to know each other rather well. Loki had learned so much about her. She was so much like him-was he really willing to leave her?

"Loki!" she shouted. They had a fight quite similar to this before… "You listen to me!" Natasha roughly grabbed him by the arm. "I'm sorry about what happened, alright? But is this what Frigga would want?" He let out a low growl as she said Frigga's name. "She would think you're being selfish! She loved you and would want you to live!" Her nails dug into the coarse fabric of his sleeve. "I still care about you, alright?!" she yelled. "And I'm not going to stop because you need me!" Her voice began to soften. "You need someone right now. And I'm not going to leave you," Natasha vowed with a look of determination in her eyes. "Dammit, Loki, you better be list-"

He had definitely been listening-he let every single word sink in. Despite how much the truth in her words hurt, he accepted them. His Mother would want him to live a happy life, as any good mother would. Loki couldn't think of any better life to live than with the woman who completed him most. He needed her now more than ever. She was far more than a friend in which he shared stories with. Natasha Romanoff was the very representation of everything he could have been, had he taken the right path. She was given a second chance, but what about him? Did Odin spare his life to give him a second chance? Perhaps Natasha Romanoff was his fate-the All-Father did send him to her, after all. It was for these reasons that Loki silenced Natasha with a kiss to the lips.

Natasha felt her mind go blank for a second. One minute, she was angry with Loki, and now he was kissing her. She didn't mind, though. This kiss felt far nicer than his spiteful one from an earlier nightmare. It didn't take long for her to lock her arms around his neck. The desperation behind his kiss left her wanting more.

Their lips soon parted just long enough for Loki to speak. "It would seem that my life was saved for a second time this evening."

The coolness of Loki's breath against her skin sent a shiver up her spine. "I don't want to lose you." She cupped his cheek and stared into his eyes, so full of sadness.

For the first time that night, Loki managed a small smile. "Who is the selfish one now?"

"I mean it." There was a fierce honesty within her words.

"I trust you," he replied before kissing her again. Without this woman, he would surely be dead by now. The very thought about no longer living made him realize just how disappointed his Mother would be in him. She would have wanted him to live, just as Natasha had told him. And as for Natasha, Loki wondered what she would do if he were gone. Would she grieve? Did someone entitled with the reputation as the cold and unfeeling Black Widow even shed tears? "I trust you with my very life, Ms. Romanoff." A hand stroked her cheek, smearing blood across her porcelain skin as he did so. "Forgive me…" He pulled his hand away and lowered his head.

"There's a shower across the hall. I'll get you some clean clothes…" She quickly turned on her heel. Looking down at her own slightly bloody top, Natasha saw that she needed to change. "Just give me a second."

"No need," Loki stated. His words forced her to turn back around. Within a split second, he had wiped away all traces of blood from his clothes and skin, both on himself and Natasha.

Natasha's eyes remained fixed upon the god as she saw his magic at work. She had never believed in magic-it was all cheap tricks. Loki, however, proved her wrong. "So sleep, then," she said after a pause. "You take the bed. If you need anything, I won't be too far away."

"You're leaving?" he innocently asked, sadness creeping into his voice.

"I'm just going to bed." Natasha didn't even want to know what time it was. All she knew was that she wanted to get some more rest before officially starting her day. "I'll be close by."

He reached out to grab her wrist. "Stay with me…" His pleading eyes resembled those of a child. "Please."

Natasha smiled for him. After all he went through, she couldn't say no to him. "Okay," she promised, leading him into her bed. A quick glance at her alarm clock told her that it was just after four. She had at least two more hours to rest up.

Loki crawled into bed with her and snuggled close to her beneath the sheets. "Thank you," he breathed.

"I'm sorry about what happened. Just know that I'm right here for you. I've got your back, remember?" Resting her head against a pillow, the two continued to stare at one another in silence.

"I'm afraid to sleep," Loki suddenly admitted. "Even more so at this very moment. What if Thanos comes? What if I'm forced to dream of my Mother?" A lone tear rolled down his cheek as he thought of the possibilities.

Natasha wiped the tear away with her thumb. "Just try to sleep. Think of…" Of what? Happy thoughts? She had only ever seen him happy while talking about Frigga. Unless she gave him something happy to think about… Leaning in close, she brought her lips to his. A kiss alone seemed to distract the god's mind.

Loki gladly took advantage of her distraction by kissing her back with even more force. His tongue fought with hers as their lip-lock grew more intense. Pure, carnal need overcame him. He wanted more of her. The taste of her mouth wasn't enough to sate him. The god tore his lips away and placed a trail of kisses from her neck down to her collarbone.

Natasha tried to fight back a gasp, only to fail once she felt a hand on her breast. "Loki!" she exclaimed, startled. How far was he thinking a single kiss would get him?

Loki paused and lifted his emerald gaze to meet with hers. "Do you not like this?"

She would be lying if she said she didn't. The coolness of his touch sent pleasant shocks throughout her body. He was so much different than any other man she had been with. Gods were a different story, apparently. Natasha's only concern was how far she would let things go. He had just lost his Mother-was this his way of handling his grief?

"If you would like to sleep, then please do so." Loki respected her enough to slowly pull away.

"No." Her hand reached out and grabbed the front of his shirt. Inching closer, she brought her lips to his ear. "Keep going."

Loki pinned her down to the bed, straddling her hips. For the second time that night, he showed her a magic trick. This one made both of their clothes disappear. He took a moment to marvel upon the milky flesh of her naked body. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. Kissing the bare skin of her breast, he was amazed at how smooth and soft her skin was.

Natasha gave in to her needs and began to whine as his lips travelled lower down her body. The teasing way in which he kissed her stomach, hipbone, and inner thigh felt almost cruel. It was as though he was purposefully trying to set her over the edge. Her body couldn't hide her need for him, same for her racing heart. Once she felt the coolness of his lips brush against where she needed him most, she cried out his name.

Hearing her strikingly husky voice cry his name made his desire for her increase. It didn't take long for him to make his body one with hers. The heat engulfing the Jotun's body became unbearable in the most pleasant way possible. Loki wanted to be gentle with her, but Natasha begged for him to take her roughly. Not wanting to disappoint, he gave her what she craved with every thrust of his hips. She chanted his name like a prayer and worshipped him as a god with every pleasured cry. He gave to her until his body was spent and his breathing was just as ragged as hers.

Once they finished, Loki easily fell into a sweet, dreamless slumber. He had an arm protectively draped over Natasha, who had cuddled against his bare chest, fast asleep.

**"And all this longing**

**And the ships are left to rust**

**That's what the water gave us"**

**What the Water Gave Me ~FatM**


	12. I'll take care of you

**"Know you've been hurt by someone else**  
**I can tell by the way you carry yourself**  
**If you let me, here's what I'll do**  
**I'll take care of you**  
**Cause I've loved and I've lost"**

**Take Care ~Florence and the Machine **

Natasha was rudely awakened by the blaring of her alarm clock.

"Ah!" Loki awoke with a start, gasping for breath. "What's happening?!"

Natasha realized that her alarm must have been a new and startling object to the god. "It's ok, Loki," she said tiredly. She reached over and punched down on the button to cease the noise. It didn't feel like she had gotten much sleep, but Natasha had grown used to sleepless nights. "I have to go to the gym. I'll be back in two hours," she promised, sitting upright. The soreness radiating from between her legs up to her lower belly reminded her of what happened between her and Loki. She had no regrets whatsoever. "Just go back to sleep," she added, standing out of bed.

"You promised to come back?" he asked, watching her naked backside saunter towards her dresser.

Natasha wasn't a morning person. She was always at her worst, especially running on only a few hours of sleep. This morning, however, she knew that she needed to show Loki some compassion. "Of course." Natasha flashed him a small smile. Looking at the worried expression across his face made her chest ache. Did he really think she would leave him? "Get some sleep and I'll be home when you wake up-we'll have breakfast."

"Alright," he replied in a distant tone. Loki didn't want her to leave. What if she never came back? He began to watch as the assassin changed into her fitness attire. "Be safe," he murmured.

"Loki…" Natasha tugged down on her shirt. She knew that he was worrying too much, but she couldn't blame him. There was a part of her that actually felt reassured in knowing that he cared about her this much. "This is me you're talking to." She approached the bed and gave him an innocent kiss on the lips. "I'm _never_ safe, but I'm always fighting and taking names."

His eyes narrowed as he reached out to cup her cheek. "I pray you are only jesting with me." Loki was far from being in a gaming mood. The cold look in his eyes spoke the truth.

"Sorry," she said quickly. "Just trying to lighten the mood… It's early," she shrugged.

"I care about you far too much to lose you, Natasha," he admitted, looking the woman in the eyes.

She placed her warm hand over his. "I'll never leave you. I swear on my life." He grew silent and Natasha knew she had to leave. "Rest," she ordered before pulling away from his touch and sauntering off.

Loki heard her footsteps padding against the floor once she had disappeared from view. After a few minutes, he heard what he assumed to be the front door shut, then lock. Once again, Loki Laufeyson found himself trapped in a cage. Only this time, he was glad to be confined such a space. That, and Natasha's apartment was refreshingly cool. Resting his head against the pillow, he contemplated going back to Asgard simply to see what damage his wrongdoings caused. The only thing stopping Loki from going back, though, was the idea of his Mother's funeral. All of Asgard would be mourning the loss of their beloved Queen by now. Loki didn't want to see any of that. What if _he _was blamed for her death? He would never be able to show his face there ever again… Frigga did warn him to wait for the All-Father's messenger ravens, though. Loki decided to do just that, only because he had no desire to return to Asgard. Instead, he decided to take the time to explore Natasha's home.

He stepped out of bed and used magic to clothe himself in a pair of black dress pants and a black button-up shirt. If he was going to stay on Midgard, then he was going to dress like the part. His bare feet padded against the cool tile over towards the bay window. He pulled apart the curtains and was greeted with beams from the slowly rising sun. Temporarily blinded, Loki turned his head away from the intense brightness. Like Natasha, he wasn't fond of mornings, either. Just as he drew the curtains together, the sunlight reflected on the silver dagger which Loki had thrown to the floor. He went over to the blade and saw the reflection of his glassy eyes in between bits of dried up blood. All of the hopeless feelings Loki had managed to suppress began rising to the surface. He knew he needed to let go-his Mother was gone and there was nothing he could do- but letting go was too hard this time. Back when the Rainbow Bridge had crumbled and Loki felt that his life held no meaning, letting go was so easy. His grip around the dagger tightened. The pain in his chest made it hard to breathe again and his heart felt as though it had turned to lead. Loki wandered across the room towards Natasha's vanity where he set the blade down. He figured that Natasha could use it. Maybe he could even teach her how to properly wield it, just as Frigga had taught him. The very thought was enough to make Loki smile.

His eyes began to scan Natasha's vanity. He was curious as to what sorts of things the Black Widow owned. She had some perfume bottles and some make-up scattered amongst manila folders marked 'classified.' There was a jewelry case made of glass and mahogany in the center of the table. Opening the case's miniature doors, Loki saw several necklaces and bracelets made of silver and gold, hanging from hooks at the top. Along the bottom of the case were some sets of earrings and rings. He assumed that these were for her special occasions since he couldn't imagine her wearing such things whilst fighting. Despite all the shimmering diamonds and precious metals that would most definitely catch a fine price, the first thing his eyes rested upon was a hint of red. The god's slender fingers reached past the necklaces towards the back of the case. From there, he pulled out a red rose. The edges of the petals were slightly withered, but Loki recognized this flower. This was the exact rose he had conjured up and left as a surprise for Natasha. And she kept it. But for what reason? Sentiment? His lips formed a thin, hard line. So the feared Black Widow had a soft spot, he mused. That, or she liked flowers. The first option seemed more likely to him. After all, she found it in her heart to find goodness in a monster such as himself. Loki was sure that his Mother's dagger would be in good care with Natasha as its owner. A weapon also seemed to be a much more fitting gift. Unless she _did _like flowers-he would have to ask her. Loki set the rose down beside the dagger before he decided to leave the bedroom. He didn't want to go back to sleep just yet. His new, Midgardian surroundings peaked his interest and also kept his mind from straying towards unwanted thoughts.

Loki found her bathroom just across the hall. He found her bath tub to be mediocre compared to the large baths he was used to. The rest of her apartment was also rather subpar, compared to the lavish palace Loki had grown up in. Her dining table was pathetic-only room for six people, at most. Then again, she lived alone. There were no cooks or maids-the god wondered how she managed. She was clean and tidy, though. He had to give her that. The most impressive thing he found in her house was the flat screen TV in her living room. He didn't know what it did, but it amused him. Loki could faintly see his reflection in the black screen and thought it to be a mirror of some kind. The many wires coming out the back of it led to several other devices, like an even smaller black prism. Looking through a cabinet under the TV, he found what he thought to be books. To his dismay, they weren't. The plastic cases all had different covers, yet they each held a similar disc. Loki had much to ask of Natasha once she returned to him.

* * *

Natasha wasn't surprised to find that she wasn't alone in the basement's gym. In fact, she knew that she would have company, which was one of her reasons for getting out of bed that morning. "Steve." The red-head threw her gym bag aside before sauntering over towards the blonde man at the punching bag.

Steve paused mid punch to acknowledge the woman. "Ms. Romanoff," he nodded. "Good morning."

She rolled her eyes in reply.

"Natasha. Sorry." Even though she had told him countless times that she could use her first name, he always forgot.

"Romanoff's joining the party?" Tony popped out from behind another punching bag wearing his workout clothes and an arm from one of his Iron Man suits.

"What happened to not blowing stuff up in here?" she quipped.

"My house, my rules," Tony remarked.

"Technically, this is the _Avengers _Tower, now," Steve remarked with a grin.

"Hey," Tony warned him. "You're gonna be my new punching bag test dummy if you sass me."

Natasha groaned. "Steve, I need some clothes," Natasha interrupted.

Steve turned to her, blinking in surprise. "Do you…want me to go shopping with you?"

"No. _Your _clothes."

Tony whistled in response. "Did you find another Capsicle buried somewhere?"

Natasha shot him a glare. "Go play with your toys." Tony was the last person she wanted to discuss things with. "I just need a few days worth of clothes." That would buy her time until she could take Loki shopping. "I'd ask Tony, but he falls a bit short."

"Can you tell me what's going on?" Steve asked.

Natasha had yet to even tell Director Fury about her guest-he was the next person she needed to see. "Confidential."

"Sounds like you've got a boy toy. Unless it's confidential babysitting," Tony snorted.

"Until I receive the ok, this stays my secret." She folded her arms across her chest.

"I'll be glad to help," Steve said with a smile.

"Thank you," she replied. "I'll drop by after breakfast," Natasha added as she made her way to a treadmill.

* * *

_ Loki was sitting on the living room couch, a book in hand, while awaiting Natasha's return. He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but he had gotten halfway through the book. He heard a door creak open and he snapped the tome shut. "Natasha!" Loki eagerly rose from his seat and hurried to greet Natasha at the door. _

_ "So this is where you've chosen to hide?" the titan Thanos had allowed himself into the apartment. He stood menacingly over Loki with a frightening smirk. "I found a friend to join your Mother," he added._

_ Loki's brows furrowed and his eyes grew wide with horror and confusion. _

_Thanos raised his right hand a bit, beckoning for Loki to take a closer look at what he was holding._

_All Loki saw was a fistful of familiar red curls…_

That sight alone was enough to awaken Loki from his nightmare. Screaming, he bolted upright from his place on the couch. _Just a dream, _he reassured himself. Still, the god's body trembled. This was why he didn't want to go back to sleep. Despite his attempts to stay awake, he had fallen asleep from boredom. He heard the sound of the door unlock and his body automatically tensed up. Loki summoned his scepter into his hand the moment he heard the door swing open. As he made his way out towards the entryway, he heard a set of light footsteps. Holding his scepter before him, ready to send forth an attack, Loki stepped out of hiding. He was ready to face his enemy, whether it was Thanos, or a dark elf, or…

"Loki?" Natasha eyed the god with a raised brow. "What's going on?" The next thing she knew, his scepter disappeared just as Loki rushed to her side and threw his arms around her. "Let go," she grumbled, pressing her hands against his chest. "I haven't showered yet. I stink."

He pulled away, his eyes clouded with a mixture of fear and sadness. "I dreamt something awful happened…" Loki couldn't bring himself to say that she had died. What if it was a premonition of what was to come? What if-? Thankfully, he had Natasha there to stop his train of thoughts.

"I'm sorry." Her hand reached out to stroke his cheek. "I lost track of time working out." She didn't think that over two and a half hours away from home would worry him this much. Natasha couldn't help the fact that he had a nightmare and she felt awful for worrying him. She knew Loki was going through a rough time.

Loki placed his hand over hers, holding it in place. "I'm glad you've come back safely," he whispered.

"Loki," she sighed, "let me get showered. I'll make us something nice for breakfast," she offered. Speaking of showers, her eyes fell upon his clothing. "Where did you get those?"

He stared down at his shirt, puzzled. "I conjured these garments myself. They resemble the attire here, do they not?"

So she didn't need Steve's help, after all… "I'll be right back," she promised. "Give me at least twenty minutes."

Loki frowned at her. "I don't want you to go. If my dream was trying to tell me something, then…" he paused. "You could very well be in danger. On my behalf."

"Oh, Loki," she groaned, rolling her eyes. "It's just a shower. Come with me if you need to." The god fell silent and she wondered if they met an understanding.

"Very well then," he stated. Loki began leading her towards the bathroom. He had her home's layout already memorized. "Though I doubt there is room for two people," he added. "Your people have no idea as to what a real bath looks like."

Natasha smiled and rolled her eyes. "I bet Stark's got a nice big tub. There's no way in hell I'd ever go in it, though," she retorted.

"Your black box device also has me curious. Is it a mirror of some sort? Or a portal?" he prodded.

"'Black box?' The TV?" she asked. "You watch things on it," she tried to explain as they stepped into the bathroom. "Movies, shows… Nothing like that on Asgard?" She lifted her tank top over her head. Turning to Loki, Natasha noticed the sad look on his face. "They're not that great, actually," she shrugged. Just as Natasha prepared to take her sports bra off, it disappeared from her very hands.

"Did that surprise you?" Loki asked with a smirk. He stood before her, completely naked.

Natasha flashed him a sly grin. She turned around, showing off her bare backside to him as she turned on the shower.

Loki eagerly stepped into the shower after her. The space felt cramped, but it only allowed for him to be closer to the woman. As the warm water rained down on them, Loki intently watched as Natasha soaped herself up. It didn't take long for him to start lathering the sweet smelling soap all across her back.

"That feels nice," Natasha murmured. The way his cold hands massaged her back after a morning workout helped relax her.

"I'm glad," the god whispered into her ear.

His chilled breath against her wet skin felt icier than before. The water may have been warm, but Natasha could feel goose bumps forming along her arms. Slowly, she turned around and stared up at Loki, a hand resting upon his chest.

Their eyes met in a stunned silence. Gazing into Natasha's green eyes, he could see his own reflection. He noticed her full lips part as if to say something, but she was interrupted by whip-like crack of thunder.

The bathroom was suddenly engulfed in darkness. "That sounded like it hit the tower," Natasha said uneasily. For thunder, it was awfully loud. She knew that Clint lived on the top floor and she wondered if he was alright. Quickly, she shut off the water and left the shower.

"Natasha!" the god grabbed her upper arm in an effort to stop her. Loki knew _exactly _what had caused the noise. "It's Thor."


	13. The reason I hold on

**"Not really sure how to feel about it.**  
**Something in the way you move**  
**Makes me feel like I can't live without you.**  
**It takes me all the way.**  
**I want you to stay"**

Natasha grabbed a towel and began to swiftly dry herself off. She swore under her breath knowing that the others were going to have a field day if they found out she was hiding Loki in her apartment. "So what happens now? He's taking you home?" Maybe she wouldn't have to sit down with the Director after all… not that she wanted Loki to leave. She only figured that he would want to go home for Frigga's funeral. He needed to go home at some point, though. Natasha knew he wasn't some animal that she could keep.

"I **doubt **that," Loki growled. He summoned a suit and scarf ensemble for himself before brushing past Natasha who was still drying off.

"Where are you going?" she demanded. "You're waiting for me!"

"I don't want you being dragged into my affairs, Ms. Romanoff," he stated with narrowed eyes. "Thor is someone I have known my entire life. I shall speak to him alone." His tone was heavy as he spoke.

"So this is goodbye, then?" Natasha asked in a monotone. She secured the towel around her body as she approached Loki.

"I'm not leaving," he frowned. "If Thor has come here with the intentions of taking me away, then I refuse."

She stared up at him from beneath her lashes. "What about the funeral? What if that's why he came?"

Loki turned on his heel in a fury. "He's only here to blame **me** for what happened! I killed her!" he snarled as he stormed off.

"Loki!" There was a hint of concern in Natasha's voice as she hurried after him and grabbed his wrist. "You didn't do anything wrong!"

"Don't touch me!" he screamed at her, jerking his arm away. "Leave me to deal with him. He has been like a brother to me!" he added. "You, of all people, wouldn't know what that sort of relationship is like!" he spat. Loki knew that his remark would hurt her, but he wished to speak with Thor in private. Making her angry with him was the only option.

Natasha roughly shoved Loki in the chest. "Get the hell out, then!" He had nerve if he was willing to drag her past into this. Her nostril's flared as the god wordlessly turned around and left. All she wanted to do was help him, but (much like herself) Loki had a temper. She knew that he needed her, despite his attempt to push her away-she could tell by the look of desperation in his eyes. Natasha vowed to not leave him, and she intended to keep that promise. She made haste in grabbing some clean clothes. There was no way she could let Loki face Thor alone. In Loki's angered state, he could lash out on Thor and all hell would break loose.

* * *

Once out of Natasha's bathroom, Loki teleported himself to the very top of the Avengers Tower. Waiting for him was, of course, Thor. "Well?" the trickster asked as he casually approached the thunder god.

Thor tossed his hammer aside, letting it smash into the roof's cement. "Father told me…" his voice was hollow.

"That I killed her?" Loki asked. His face was void of any readable expression.

"You didn't kill her, Loki," Thor continued. "Father said you saw everything. ..Loki, I am so sorry…" The thunder god outstretched his muscular arms, ready to embrace his brother.

Instead of accepting the hug, Loki took a step back. "Why did you come?" the trickster asked quietly. "Did the All-Father send you here to tell me about the other warriors who **died** because of me?!"

"We only lost eleven, not counting our Mother," Thor interjected. "But you are not at fault for the lives lost. No one blames you."

Loki mockingly laughed at Thor's words. "'No one blames me?'"

Thor watched his brother with sad eyes.

"I thought I was blamed for everything back home." He clasped his hands behind his back as he began encircling Thor. "'The god of mischief.' They gave me that name for a reason, dear _Brother_," he sourly added. "All my life, I've been to blame. They never bothered to mourn my loss! Why should I return with you to mourn _their _losses?"

Thor reached out and grabbed Loki by the neck before he could say anymore. "Because our Mother was one of them!" His voice boomed like rumbling thunder.

Loki narrowed his eyes and tried to keep a stoic expression. "I choose to stay. You cannot change my will."

"This is our _Mother!_" the blonde reminded him. "Have you no respect?!" His anger level was rising.

"I wish to never return home again," Loki stated. "After all, the All-Father was the one to cast me out. He doesn't wish for me to return…"

Thor released his hold as his anger subsided. "Father only did it to keep you safe. He told me himself." His light blue eyes stared into Loki's. "He sent you somewhere he knew you would be safe-and here you are... Safe from any harm."

Loki's body froze as Thor's words sank in. Did his 'Father' truly wish to send him somewhere safe? But how would Odin know that this particular city was 'safe?' Not only had Loki done a great deal of damage to the city, but he ended up in the building which housed his enemies. Some 'safe' zone… Unless… Loki's mind recalled a conversation he had with his Mother not too long ago…

_"You mustn't speak like that," Frigga said. She sadly stared at her son, who sat helplessly on the floor. "I'll use force if I have to. Odin knows better than to leave you like this forever!" She heard Loki begin to chuckle and paused. "Is this amusing to you?"_

_"No," the trickster answered with a smile. "You sound like someone I know, is all…"_

_"Oh?" Frigga watched her son with a curious smile. Loki looked happier than he ever had in a long while._

_"It's nothing, really," he continued in a composed manner. _

_"Why, your cheeks are burning, my Loki," the goddess giggled._

_Loki lowered his head, letting his messy hair fall into his face. "It is far too hot in here."_

_"It is a lady, is it not?" Frigga prodded. "Don't even try to weasel out of this- it is written all over your face."_

_"It may be," the god muttered, refusing to meet his Mother's gaze._

_"Then tell me about her," she said eagerly._

_Loki shook his head. He knew full well that his Mother wouldn't let this go… "She is of Midgard," he began. "An aid in bringing about my capture." A smile crept onto his lips. "She tricked me. Can you believe that?" He looked to Frigga and chuckled. "I recently took it upon myself to visit her dreams. At first, I only wanted to cause her pain, but things changed… I was able to sleep last night for a change. She was able to put my mind at rest," he continued. _

_"Then what happened just now?" Frigga prodded, genuinely curious. "You awoke in tears…"_

_ Loki hesitated, "I lost my temper and caused her to awaken." _

_"Oh, Loki…" Frigga clicked her tongue in disapproval._

_"It's the strangest thing, Mother." Loki's eyes met with hers. "She believes that I can redeem myself-she truly believes it." There was a glimmer of hope in his eyes. "Because she has redeemed herself… Natasha is like me in so many ways…" He smiled softly at the thought of the red-head._

_"Natasha," his Mother repeated. "A lovely name." _

_"Her name is only fitting of her beauty."_

_Frigga was truly grateful to the mysterious Natasha that Loki had just spoken of. Just with one look into her son's eyes, she could tell that he truly cared for this woman._

"Loki?"

The sound of Thor's voice pulled him out from his thoughts. Had Frigga told Odin about Natasha? he wondered to himself. Was that how the All-Father had chosen a place of safety for his 'son?' He felt icy tears rolling down his face and turned his back to Thor. "Please leave. I wish to stay here…"

"What the hell's going on up here?" Clint grumbled as he stepped out onto the roof. Accompanying him was Tony.

"Point Break's back?" Tony asked upon noticing Thor. "Hey, you gotta use the front door like everyone else, buddy!" he warned the blonde, a drink in hand.

"What's _he_ doing here?!" Clint demanded as he saw the back of Loki's head.

Tony rolled his eyes as he strolled up to the gods. "If this is a family reunion, you should've said so. I love parties." He glanced at Loki in the corner of his eye. "Are you gonna be the piñata?" he joked. "The Jolly Green Giant will love that."

Loki didn't understand the man of iron's reference to a piñata, but Tony's mentioning of the Hulk angered him. He had a feeling that he was being mocked and that made him furious.

"Enough joking around, Stark-this guy's dangerous!" Clint couldn't trust Loki-not ever. The trickster brought him nothing but bad memories.

"Enough!" Thor boomed. Thunder rumbled in the distance. "Loki is to come home with me. Neither of us can stay."

"Wait, if you didn't bring him, then how the hell did he get back here?" Tony questioned.

"He stayed with me last night," Natasha announced. She had snuck up on Tony and made him jump.

"So _he's _the boy toy?"

"The _what?!_" Clint hissed.

"Shut up, Stark," Natasha seethed as she approached Loki. "He came to me for help." She sighed. "I still need to talk this over with Fury…"

Unable to comprehend the situation, Clint chose to interject. "Yeah, I'm sure he's gonna wanna hear all about your sleepover with this guy! He's not brainwashing you, is he, Nat?!"

Before the assassin could start yelling at the archer, Loki raised a hand in protest. "I was sent to Agent Romanoff on behalf of my own safety," he calmly explained.

"And now you are no longer safe here!" Thor threatened Loki. "Thanos has threatened to wipe out all of Asgard unless you return by sunset tomorrow!"

Loki turned to the blonde with a look of defeat. "So the truth finally comes out," he breathed. "He wants me _dead, _Thor!" the trickster spat. "And clearly, so does your Father!"

"Which is why our Father has devised a plan to save you…"

"Humour me!" Loki scoffed.

"Duplication," Thor said simply enough.

The trickster shook his head. "Don't you think I've contemplated the action already? Creating a double drains my magic far too quickly. It isn't possible…"

There was a somber look in Thor's eyes as he eyed Loki. "Which is why the All-Father is going to give you enough power."

Loki was suddenly growing interested in this talk of power. "And why couldn't he come here himself if this is so urgent?"

"Asgard needs its King, Loki. You and I both know that…"

"How does Father plan to give me this power? It would be a shame if he entered the Odin-sleep again," Loki noted.

"It is an object," Thor confirmed. "Something so powerful that he would not entrust it to me to give to you…" The blonde stared knowingly into his brother's eyes. "You very well know what it is."

Loki shook his head with a mocking laugh. "Father is going to entrust _me _with an Infinity gem? And of all gems, the one of power!" he scoffed. Loki could clearly see where Odin's plan was leading to and he couldn't help but grow wary. Power, especially from an Infinity gem, could corrupt even the best of men, as his Mother once said. "How does he know that I won't betray him again?" he smirked.

"Because you will do it to avenge our Mother's death."

Thor's words hit Loki like a ton of bricks. He wanted to take vengeance for what happened to his Mother more than anything, but Loki was still unsure. What if the power drove him mad? It was a very high probability… Or what if Thanos could sense the gem? A warm hand over his drew him back into reality.

"Loki," Natasha whispered. "I think you should try it. For Frigga."

All of Loki's doubts vanished the second he heard Natasha's words of reassurance. She believed in him-that alone was enough to give him the strength to go through with the All-Father's plan. "Alright," he told Thor. "However, I have certain conditions…"

Natasha rolled her eyes. Now she knew he was being stubborn.

"I will take the gem from Father, then return here." He gave Natasha's hand a gentle squeeze.

"Our Mother's funeral will be in two days time," Thor reminded him. "Your duplicate's funeral will be on that day, as well."

"Please, Thor." Loki's jaw tightened. "I do not wish to stay too long…" He let go of Natasha's hand to stand alongside his brother. "Let us make haste," he said as he grabbed Thor's hand. Before he sent them off, he turned to Natasha. "I will return shortly. Wait for me."

Natasha folded her arms and nodded.

"Forgive me for yelling. My temper always gets the better of me," he added.

The next thing Natasha knew, they were both gone.

"'Wait for me,'" Tony mimicked with a snort. "Looks like Romeo's gonna come back for Juliet."

"Shut up, Stark!" Natasha and Clint said simultaneously.

The red-head then made her way to the rooftop's door.

"Nat, wait!" Clint called after her.

"Things to do," the red-head said quickly as she walked off.

* * *

Loki transported both Thor and himself into the royal throne room. Surely enough, Odin was seated upon the throne, only to rise once his sons arrived.

"Loki," the All-Father began in a weary voice. Losing his wife made him appear much older than when Loki had last seen him. Loss had surely taken its toll on the mighty god.

The trickster acknowledged Odin at the sound of his name. "Yes?" he rasped. A great deal of his magic had been used up in coming back to Asgard. He knew that after his trip back to Natasha he would need a long rest to recharge.

"I trust that Thor told you…" He summoned a gold container into his outstretched palm.

Loki knew exactly what the hand-sized ornate box held. "You are a fool for entrusting me with this," Loki forewarned the old man.

"I know you will do the right thing." Odin slowly made his way down the golden steps to approach his kin.

"Can you really trust me with this?" Loki asked, his voice mixed with fear and curiosity.

"Do this for your Mother," said the old man. "And if not for her, then Natasha."

Odin handed the box to Loki who gave him an angry look. "This does not concern her. I will avenge your Queen with this, and nothing more," the trickster vowed. Hearing Odin speak Natasha's name only angered him. Loki didn't want Natasha to be involved in any of his problems.

"Your Mother told me you spoke very highly of her," Odin continued with a small smile. Loki began to scowl. "She will be a fitting wife for you, if that is what you desire."

Loki had to use every bit of restraint to not throw the Infinity gem and its holder at the All-Father. "Do **not **speak of her!" he suddenly yelled.

"Loki! Father has just-" Thor was interrupted from saying anything more.

"I pray you will understand the danger she will be in if Thanos were to overhear!" Loki hissed. "Goodbye, _Father_," he said Odin's name with such disdain, as if it were a poison. He took himself back to Natasha's bedroom and immediately felt more at ease. The lights had returned, making it easy for him to see Natasha standing in front of her vanity.

Rather than being relieved to see him, Natasha shot him an angry look. In her hand was the rose he had given her. "You touched my stuff!"

"I took the time to explore your home," he innocently began. "I gave you that as a gift," he reminded her with a smile as he eyed the flower. "And I happened to come across it this morning. I didn't think you would have kept it…"

She only showed Loki her anger-not the embarrassment she kept bottled up inside of her. Natasha didn't mind him snooping around, but of all the things he had to find, it just _had _to be the one thing she wanted to hide. To her, it was more than a silly little gift. It was a reminder of the god from another world-one who Natasha wasn't sure if their paths would ever cross in life for a second time. The rose was proof that Loki had been thinking of her- the morning she found the rose was when she felt completely sure that Loki was in fact using magic to communicate with her. She knew that Loki must've thought she was insane for keeping a decaying flower locked away. A part of her feared that he would mistake her keeping it as some sign of hidden affection towards him…

"So you like flowers, then," Loki confirmed.

"I…" Maybe she was just crazy for assuming that he would think that she had feelings for him. "Yeah," she easily lied. "I do." She set the rose aside and lifted up the dagger. "Why did you leave this with it, though?" she wondered.

Loki approached the table and placed the container atop it for safe keeping. "Another gift."

Natasha ogled the blade, unsure if she could accept it. "This is Frigga's. You keep it." She handed it towards Loki, but he declined.

"She would want you to keep it," he smiled. "I told her about you once," he admitted. "That is the reason I was sent here to you. My Mother knew that I would be safe in your care."

Hearing Loki's words was making it harder for Natasha to hide her embarrassment. She refused to let him see her flustered, though. "How about you hold onto it. For luck."

Loki accepted the dagger and set it beside the golden container.

"So that's what Odin gave you?" Natasha rested her eyes on the box, marveling at the intricate runes inscribed all around it.

"Would you like to look inside?" Loki was a bit nervous about opening it. Just a peek at the jewel wouldn't hurt.

"Okay…" Natasha didn't know what to expect.

He slowly opened the box, allowing for the two of them to get a look at the palm-sized gemstone inside. Loki recalled seeing the gems all fitted into the gauntlet in his younger years. He had never been able to get this close to the real thing until now.

"It's beautiful," Natasha gasped.

The ruby gem emitted a faint light, leaving the couple mesmerized. "Yes. It is," Loki agreed. "But dangerous," he added before snapping the container shut. "Just like someone I know." He deviously smirked in Natasha's direction.

"You think I'm beautiful." It came out as a statement, rather than a question.

"I wouldn't lie to you," Loki replied in a sincere tone.

Now that she could get a better look at the god's face, Natasha could see the dark circles under his eyes. "Let's get some rest, ok?" she softly suggested. "You need your strength for tomorrow."

"Do you think this will work?" Doubt filled the god's voice.

"Of course I do. Things are gonna work out-don't worry." The back of her fingers began stroking his cheek.

"Promise me you will stay at my side." Loki felt his body begin to tremble slightly. "If I lose myself to the power, you must stop me!" he begged of her, looking her straight in the eyes.

"I'll get Banner's other half to knock some sense into you," she promised with a laugh.

There were so many things Loki wanted to say to her, but his silver tongue was failing him in finding just the right words to describe tightness in his chest. He hoped that for now, a soft kiss would suffice until he could find the right words to say. She responded to his kiss by wrapping her arms around his neck. The action told Loki that she was eager for more. Actions spoke louder than words, after all. _Actions…_ He pulled away from their kiss as an idea came to him. Feeling more confident, Loki strayed away from her and picked up the rose. With just one touch (and what remained of his magic for the evening), the flower's browned edges flourished once again. "So long as I am with you, Natasha, this flower will live. Even if we are worlds are apart…"

Natasha was the _last _person one would expect to become flustered. As the Black Widow, she had a reputation to uphold. She could feel herself letting her guard down as Loki managed to break through the barriers she always kept up. He was one of the rare people able to reach out and touch the _real _Natasha Romanoff. "Thank you." She reached out to take the rose from his hand and smiled warmly. The flower would forever be her most prized possession. Natasha truly cared about him, but she questioned whether or not he needed to know. Relationships, whether they were friendships or something more, were always tricky. Someone always ended up getting hurt at one point or another. Natasha knew that one day Loki would go home for good and leave her all alone. She didn't want to end up hurting herself, but he was very dear to her. Loki made her feel complete… But he had said himself that they were worlds apart. This told her that their time was limited… Until that day came, she was going to live in the moment with the one man who could truly understand her. She knew he would leave her one day, but that day wasn't today.

**"The reason I hold on**  
** Cause I need this hole gone**  
**Funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving**  
**Cause when you never see the light it's hard to know which one of us is caving"**

**Stay ~Rihanna**


	14. Never let me go

"It still doesn't make sense," Clint interrupted amidst the team meeting. "This Thanos guy kills a fake Loki and it's all gonna be over? Just like that?"

Natasha had been explaining Loki's situation with her fellow teammates, aside from Thor who was on Asgard, and Loki who was fast asleep in her bed. "Loki got himself into trouble. His death seems to be the only way out."

"If this guy was responsible for the recent attack on this city, then we need to be prepared!" Steve warned her. "Thousands of innocent people are still recovering from the recent alien invasion. We can't put them through this again…" He lowered his eyes to the glass coffee table.

"Look," Natasha continued, "Thanos will be on Asgard with Thor and his dad. This guy is responsible for their mom's death. Thor won't let this guy off so easily, especially after 'killing' his brother."

Clint's eyes darted over to Natasha's place on the couch. "So Loki knows Thor's gonna take this guy down?"

"I'm only assuming things." She folded her arms across her chest. "I'd like to see this guy taken out before anything worse happens."

"Like another invasion," Bruce chimed in. He adjusted his glasses for a moment. "I doubt we can handle something like that again…"

Tony was over at the bar pouring himself another drink. "I say we've got the whole teamwork thing down," he mused. "My bet's on Thunder Guy kicking this alien-or-whatever's ass."

Natasha rose from the couch and began to walk off. "I need to check on Loki."

"You've got a promising job as a babysitter if this doesn't work out for you," Tony jokingly remarked. As he watched Natasha leave the team's living room, he swore he saw her giving him the finger.

* * *

Natasha padded over to her bed where Loki's sleeping form lay. It was well after eleven in the afternoon and she wondered if waking the god would be a wise idea. "Loki?" He needed to wake up, though. "Hey." She gently shook his shoulder and he began to stir.

"Natasha?" He slowly opened his eyes and was greeted to her lovely face. His dark, wavy locks were a mess around his pillow and Natasha couldn't help but laugh. "What is it?" he naively asked.

The woman could see a childishness in his face that made him look even less threatening. "Your hair." Her hand reached out to brush a strand of hair out of his face. "It looks worse than mine in the morning."

"Nonsense. You are always lovely." Loki propped himself up on his elbows and smiled for her.

"Oh, shut up." She playfully slapped his chest. "Get up so I can make us lunch. It's a big day-you need your strength."

Loki's smile immediately fell. He felt that Natasha was taking this too lightly-his very life was at stake. The god stayed in bed, staring off into space while Natasha began walking off.

"Loki?" she turned around, wondering why he refused to follow.

"If something goes wrong tonight, Natasha, I could lose my life…" His gaze slowly met with hers. "Or worse. I could lose Thor, Odin… maybe even you…"

Natasha shook her head as she rejoined him on the bed. "Don't talk like that. Everything's gonna be okay."

"That is not something you can promise me!" Loki snapped at her.

"I'm only trying to help you!" she fought back. "That doesn't give you a reason to yell!"

Loki tightened his jaw and told himself to stop. His fingers tightened around her comforter. He didn't wish to get into a spat with her, but the stress was slowly gnawing away at him.

"Loki…"

The sound of her voice forced him to take a deep breath and slowly exhale.

Natasha reached out to touch his shoulder and felt his muscles begin to relax. "You'll be okay," she murmured. "You have Thor and Odin looking out for you back home, and I'm right here. You're gonna be fine."

Loki simply nodded in reply. Her words were the only things that he could trust at this moment.

* * *

The trickster's hand traced over the golden container's lid. He was hesitant to open it, but the spell needed to be done.

Natasha watched him as she sat cross-legged atop her bed. She was worried about what was soon to come, but she masked her anxiety well. "Let's open it together," she suggested, placing her hand over his.

Loki nodded and felt confident enough to lift the lid up. The blood-red gem glistened from inside its casket, welcoming the god to make use of it. "Very well, then," he whispered to himself. Loki reached in and held the surprisingly warm jewel in both hands. He closed his eyes and took a moment of silence to meditate. The god could feel the precious stone's power begin coursing through his veins. Loki felt stronger than ever. He felt as if he could take Odin down with just the flick of his finger… but that wasn't what this power was to be used for. His Mother's warning about the gem's power corrupting even the best of men echoed within his mind. This was all for her. The goddess' death needed to be avenged. Loki seized control over his power and conjured up a double. He was able to take himself into his clone's head and see everything that he saw. The god was now back in his cell which was just as dark and dismal as the moment he left it.

Natasha didn't have a clue what was happening, but Loki's serene expression and relaxed posture told her that everything was going smoothly. She didn't dare speak in fear of breaking his concentration. After a moment of being completely still, Loki's shoulders stiffened. Natasha reached out to place her hands over his. She wasn't sure what was happening, but she had promised Loki she would be there for him.

Loki heard footsteps, along with Thanos' deep, gravelly voice that made him fearful.

"Show him to me!" the titan demanded. "Until we speak and discuss the debts he owes me, I will not leave."

"If I allow for you to see him, then you must vow to leave right after," Odin's voice retorted. "Loki struggles to find the right path. I will not have you putting any more ideas of madness into his mind!" the All-Father threatened.

Thanos darkly chuckled in reply. "I will make our talk brief."

Loki heard the footsteps drawing nearer. Soon, a dim light filled the room as the All-Father entered. Standing tall behind him was Thanos. Thor was also there, glancing from Thanos to Loki. The trickster noticed a tense expression on the thunder god's face. Was Thor worried about him? Thanos' voice forced Loki's thoughts to cease.

"Do you remember our deal, god?" Thanos asked of Loki. "You promised to lead my army, yet you failed me. Tell me, what caused your downfall?"

Loki stood tall, safe behind the glass walls of his cell. "I was weak, ill-prepared… cocky…"

"That will cost you dearly," Thanos taunted. "We had a deal!" His monstrous fist slammed against the cell wall, sending shards of glass flying towards Loki.

"You will not touch him!" Odin shouted. He sent a bolt of lightning towards the purple-faced titan.

Loki knew that this was all part of Odin's plan. He wasn't using his full strength-this was all just for show. Nonetheless, it left the trickster frightened. Loki saw Thanos turn and snarl at Odin. "No!" Loki shouted. "This is between us! He has no part in this!" Even though Loki was hiding behind a decoy, he was willing to die a hero's death.

Thanos returned his attention to Loki with a pleased grin across his lips. "So you accept your fate? Very well, then." He reached out and grabbed the god's head in his golden gloved hand. "This is what becomes of those who betray me!" Thanos lifted Loki up and held the flailing god up for Thor and Odin to see. There was a gruesome crunch as the titan squeezed the trickster's head like one would crush an egg.

Thor turned away, feeling sick to his stomach. Odin kept his eye focused on Thanos, feeling both angered and upset. Despite how the two knew that the real Loki was hidden away safely, watching the decoy's murder was just as painful and sickening.

"My business here is done. I have more pressing matters to tend to." Thanos dropped Loki's body to the floor. A pool of blood quickly began forming around the corpse.

"Know that if you threaten my people, or those of Midgard, we will declare war upon you!" Odin growled before the titan left them.

Once Thanos was gone, Thor turned his attention to where Loki's body lay. "Did it work?"

The duplicate's body soon disintegrated. In its place lay the ruby red Infinity gem.

"Yes, my son," Odin stated, reaching for the precious stone.

Back in Natasha's bedroom, Loki's eyes shot open the second the spell was over. He had sent the stone back to the All-Father where it belonged. Even though a clone experienced the cruel death, Loki couldn't help but feel that it was _he _who had died. His body was trembling uncontrollably and his breaths were labored. The only think to give him any sense of comfort was the fact that Natasha's arms were around his neck, squeezing him tightly. He responded to her embrace by throwing his arms around her thin waist and pulling her even closer.

"Loki!" she gasped. Natasha had never been more terrified in her life. One minute, Loki was completely calm, but in a matter of seconds, his body had tensed up and began to shake. "Thank god you're okay." She buried her face in the crook of his neck. "I didn't know what was happening-it looked like you were losing control or something…"

"It is done now," Loki assured her in a hollow voice. "Thanos assumes me dead." His body shivered as the crunching of his double's skull echoed in his head. "Natasha, allow me to have a moment alone." He pulled away from the woman's touch.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"The roof," he answered, looking away from her. "I need a bit of fresh air…" He disappeared from her sight and reappeared on the rooftop. The air was cool and crisp. Loki stared off into the horizon, slowly becoming lost as shades of pinks and oranges mixed in with the dark blues of the late evening sky. The god was trying to not think of death, but his mind kept thinking back to Thanos murdering his double. Loki felt numb, just as he did when his Mother died. Being alone and feeling like an empty shell only made Loki long for the freedom that could only come with his demise. As twisted as the thought was, it was the only way he would ever see his beloved Mother again… But then he thought of Natasha and how his heart ached for her in the most blissful way. Loki had to ask himself just who exactly he cared for more. His Mother, whom he had known all his life, or Natasha, one to recently enter his life and make him feel whole again?

Loki truly cared about Natasha more than words could express. She represented hope and redemption, something Loki desired wholeheartedly. There was a growing part of Loki that feared he was letting himself become too close with her too quickly. Thinking back to the rose he had given her, he wondered if the reason she originally kept it was out of love. _Love_. The word terrified him. Loki hadn't had the best luck when it came to loved ones. His beloved Mother was dead, his Father who 'loved' him locked him up in a cage, and his so-called brother was a suck-up who would side with the All-Father's decisions. Love would only bring Loki pain in the end. He knew that it would be for the best if he ended things with Natasha before his feelings for her grew. The last thing he needed was another heartbreak…

"You're not cold?" Natasha asked as she made her way to Loki's side.

Speak of the devil, and she shall appear… "No. I'm fine," he distantly replied. "I've been thinking," he began, continuing to watch the sunset.

"Oh, yeah?" Natasha stood close to him, watching the skyline.

He found himself thinking back to the rose-why else would someone keep such a thing? And hidden amongst precious gold and diamonds, of all places? That, to Loki, said that there had to be a deeper meaning. Perhaps Natasha _did _love him. All he now knew was that he needed to push her away before they both wound up hurting. Loki refused to lose anyone else in his life. "About my Mother," he continued.

"You really miss her, don't you?" She turned her head to stare at his profile. He said nothing in reply. "I never knew my parents…" Natasha absently began. "They died when I was still a baby. That's what I was told, at least," she nonchalantly shrugged. "I honestly can't remember anything, even if I tried…"

Loki didn't bother to make eye contact with the woman, but he listened. While she spoke, he simply stared up into the sky, taking note of the few stars.

"But I remember Ivan," she continued, looking down towards the cityscape below.

Loki couldn't recall her ever bringing up an 'Ivan' before… "Is there a point to your chattering, Ms. Romanoff?"

"My adopted Father," she finished. "For the longest time, Ivan was the only one I could trust. Then I lost him..."

Loki forced a grim smile. "Is this your way of leveling with me? I don't find this amusing." The god didn't appreciate her pity, nor did he want it. Letting her go was about to become easier than he had expected. "As if you understand me!" he spat. All he needed to do was make her angry with him-she would want him gone, and Loki would gladly leave for another world.

"Loki, I know how you feel," she stated, her emerald eyes glaring into his. "I know what it's like to lose family. And I moved on." Moving on was the key to getting over the pain. "So should you." She didn't mean to sound hurtful, but Loki's brooding was causing her to worry.

"You think it that simple?!" he exclaimed, yanking his arm away from her. Loki turned his back to her. The sight of her face was only making him genuinely angry. He was supposed to be hurting _her! _Loki felt as if he was being mocked. His Mother had just _died_ and she expected him to move on?!

"Just give it time," she quietly added. "I know you're hurting, but if you can just try to-"

"Shut up!" Loki shouted into the silent night. "As if you know anything!" he continued to yell. Loki clenched his fists at his sides and felt his body trembling from anger. _But she did know… _"Don't think that you can **ever**understand me!" _But she _did _understand… _It wasn't until the god saw a tiny drop of water fall to the pavement at his feet that he realized that tears were slowly rolling down his cheeks. Pausing to take a deep breath, Loki could tell that his body shook not with rage, but with sadness. "You don't… understand…" A choked sob escaped him. He suddenly felt the warmth of the red-head's chest against his back as her arms wrapped around his waist. The unexpected gesture reminded Loki of his late Mother's tender embrace. Turning around, he hugged Natasha back just as tightly. A pained cry passed his lips as more tears fell.

"It's okay," Natasha whispered, running a hand through his messy hair. "You're okay," she breathed.

He couldn't let her go. Try as he might, he cared far too much. Loki didn't care if he ended up hurting himself. He loved her and he wanted nothing more than to be at her side.

**"And it's over  
And I'm going under  
But I'm not giving up  
I'm just giving in**

**I'm slipping underneath**  
**So cold and so sweet**

**And the arms of the ocean so sweet and so cold**  
**And all this devotion I never knew at all**  
**In the crushes of heaven for a sinner released**  
**And the arms of the ocean delivered me"**

**Never Let Me Go ~Florence and the Machine**


	15. I won't give up on you

**"Everything is so dark **

**And I know there's something wrong **

**But I can't turn the light on"**

_Loki found himself standing on the rooftop, staring up at the black sky sprinkled with stars. "It is truly lovely tonight, isn't it?" He turned to his left, fully expecting for Natasha to be there. Only she wasn't… Loki was completely alone. He found it to be a shame since he wished to share the sight with her._

_ "Do you find comfort in this place?" A gravelly voice spoke out. _

_ The trickster's body tensed at the sound of the familiar voice. He turned around, and amidst the darkness, Thanos stood tall and proud. "Who am I to answer to you?" he darkly asked._

_ Thanos took a step forward, smirking as Loki's body took on an attack position. "Answer me just one thing, god," he began. _

_Loki clenched his jaw. He wanted nothing more to do with this fiend._

_"Do dead men dream?" The titan smiled from ear to ear upon seeing Loki's shoulders sag and his eyes widen. He took another step closer._

_Fear seized Loki's body. He forced himself to step back, but he lost his balance and fell backwards._

_Thanos laughed heartily at the fallen god. "Tell me, oh 'god of mischief'…How is it that you managed to betray me, yet again?" He hovered menacingly over Loki's sunken form. "You __**tricked **__me!" he snarled, his light blue orbs flickering with rage. _

_Loki didn't even dare speak. All his body could do was cower in fear. He knew. He knew everything. But how? Was his false death convincing enough?_

_"I feared that you might pull a fast one on me…" Thanos grabbed Loki by the shirt collar, and forced him to his feet. "I returned to Asgard during the preparations for the burials, and your damned carcass was the only one missing! And when I asked your dear All-Father your whereabouts, he said you were hiding like the coward you are!"_

_Loki cringed at his words._

_"I will have none of your tricks anymore!" Thanos threatened, shaking Loki's body. "I will not rest until I have your corpse in my possession!" he shouted. "You either give yourself to me, or I kill every single person you hold dear!"_

_Despite the terror Loki felt, he forced himself to weakly laugh at the titan's threat. "You have already taken the only one I hold dear."_

_Thanos didn't appreciate his wisecrack. "Then you will not mind if I slaughter every living being on Asgard." Loki shot him a glare and Thanos knew he had gotten to him. "There is no more hiding…" _

The last thing Loki could remember was being thrown backwards. Falling managed to force him out of the nightmare and awaken into a cold sweat. He gasped for air, struggling to recover from his dream.

"Loki?" It didn't take long for Natasha to awaken, as well. His sudden movements in the bed forced her to wake up, too. "Loki, what the hell happened?" Her hand reached out to touch his cheek.

Loki turned to acknowledge her. His pupils were dilated and his chest heaved with every gasp for breath. "He knows," he managed. "Natasha…" He threw his arms around the woman's naked body, holding her as if his life depended on it.

"It was just a dream. You're fine now," she tried to assure him. Her fingers dug into the bare skin of his shoulder blades.

"That was far from a nightmare," Loki uneasily replied. "Thanos entered my mind…I need to have a word with the All-Father." He tried pulling away from Natasha's embrace, but she refused to let him go.

"You're not leaving," she ordered.

"Natasha, I-"

"What if he's on Asgard right now?!" Natasha interrupted. "He'll _kill _you! I won't let that happen!"

Loki kissed her cheek, thankful that she cared for his safety. "He said he will kill everyone on Asgard if I do not come. I refuse to have that burden resting upon my shoulders…" He knew that Natasha would understand where he was coming from. She, too, had to live with such troubles.

Natasha grew silent as she tried to find the right thing to say. She refused to let him go and have him die. Knowing that Loki would die a martyr's death showed that his heart was in the right place-he was more than deserving of a second chance at life. "Is there a way you can get through to Thor or Odin? Telecommunicating-anything like that?" She pleadingly stared into his eyes. Natasha wasn't going to give up on saving Loki.

Seeing the desperation and sorrow within the assassin's eyes made Loki want to protect her. It showed him that she needed him just as he needed her. "I can try to contact Thor," he said after a pause. Loki didn't mean to disrespect his brother, but Thor wasn't the brightest person, which made his mind far easier to get in touch with. He closed his eyes and pulled away from Natasha's grasp. Loki forced himself to relax, allowing for him to work his magic. He never thought there would be a day when he would require Thor's help.

_"Thor."_

The golden-haired god looked from left to right upon hearing Loki's voice. He couldn't see Loki, but he swore that he was with him in the corridor.

_"Thor, I need to know what is happening," Loki's voice demanded in a growl._

"Loki, what sorcery is this?" Thor whispered to himself. He made his way to a corner, allowing for an archway's cast shadow to hide himself. "You cannot be here!" he hissed. Thor wasn't sure if this was an invisibility spell or not. Knowing Loki, any kind of trick was possible.

_"So he knows that I am alive?" he questioned. _

The thunder god was hesitant. Even as Loki spoke, Thor knew that he needed to be cautious with Thanos lurking nearby. "Yes," he sighed. "He came to pay his respects… however, your body-"

_"He told me," Loki interrupted. He found himself growing frustrated. Right now, he needed a crafty scheme that could save both himself and all of Asgard from death. "Thanos came to me in a dream," he added. "Is the All-Father asleep? I need a word with him. If he is unconscious, I would find it much easier."_

"He is conversing with Thanos as we speak," Thor said quietly. "I fear that a war may be drawing near," he grimly added.

_Loki shuddered at the thought. "And it will be all my fault…" _

Thor's brows furrowed with sadness at his brother's words. "No, Loki-don't put this on yourself…" the thunder god said to no one.

_Loki grew pensive as his clever mind went to work. If the All-Father was with Thanos, then Loki wasn't going to risk entering Odin's mind. Unless… An idea came to Loki. It was a reckless plan, but it had the potential to work. "I have a distraction in mind," the trickster finally declared. "However I need you to tell Father the plan once he is alone…"_

"Alone? He is with-!"

_"Tell Father I will keep Thanos at bay. While Thanos is gone, make sure Odin gathers the Infinity gems. I will play a game of cat and mouse with Thanos for as long as I can. Once the All-Father has the gauntlet assembled, he is to use it to make ash of our enemy."_

"This mad man will kill you the second he lays eyes upon you!" Thor shouted. "How can you expect to-"

_"Which is why I am sending Thanos on an aimless hunt throughout the realms," Loki informed the blonde. "Father should have the gauntlet ready before Thanos ever finds me."_

"This is dangerous!" Thor protested.

_This is for our Mother," Loki coldly finished. "Goodbye, Thor." The trickster vanished from his brother's thoughts, only to take over the mind of another nearby. "If you wish to kill me, then you will have to find me."_

Thanos heard the god's voice echoing in his skull and grew agitated. "I am through with your games!"

Odin gave the titan a curious look. One second, he was trying to reason with the titan, the next…

_"Search all the nine realms for me if you are truly desperate," Loki challenged, his voice filled with confidence. _

"How badly do you wish to die?" Thanos taunted. "I will accept your challenge if thee be so willing!"

_Loki needed to give just one last hint to get Thanos out of Asgard so Odin could gather the gems together. "I've been to Hel on many occasions. I wouldn't mind a more permanent stay…"_

"If you are planning to deceive me, know that this will be your very last, god!"

_"Which is exactly why I plan to make it worth my while…"_

Loki snapped out of his meditative state to find himself staring into the eyes of Natasha Romanoff. "All will be over soon," he promised her with a small smile.

"Are you sure?" she warily asked.

"Are you going to doubt me, Agent Romanoff?" Loki rose from the bed and dressed himself in his Asgardian attire of black leather.

Natasha shot him a glare. "Where are you going?"

The god flashed her his signature smirk. "I'm not going anywhere," he promised her. "I am simply waiting to hear news from Odin. Thanos will meet his demise soon enough. I promise you that."

He seemed certain, so why did Natasha have a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach?

Loki made his way to her bedroom's window. Outside, the sky was grey and thunder rumbled in the distance. He wondered if this was the All-Father's doing…

_"Loki!"_

The trickster's eyed widened as Odin's voice interrupted his thoughts. "Did Thor tell you the plan?"

_"Hide, Loki-whatever you do. Hide until I can come to your aid!"_

"What's happening?!" Loki exclaimed.

_"Thanos has left for Hel in search of you. However he is sending armies of dark elves into every realm, just in case. Do not let any see you!" he warned. "He will know to send an army to where you now hide-if the elves see you, Thanos will know!" Odin's voice seethed. "I need time to summon the gems. Until then, stay safe…"_

Natasha eyed Loki uneasily as he began talking to himself. Something wasn't right… "What's happening?"

"Arm yourself," the god stated with narrowed eyes. "Dark elves are coming in search of me…After the Chitauri incident, they will surely flock to your city." He summoned his Mother's dagger into his hand. "If anything happens to you…" He gripped the handle tightly.

"So it's aliens all over again…" Natasha wrapped a blanket around her naked body as she approached Loki's side.

"Do not take them lightly!" he warned her. "If I am found, they will summon Thanos' attention. The All-Father needs time to ready the plan…"

She looked him straight in the eyes and nodded. "I'm gonna keep you safe. Don't worry about me," she smirked.

"I always fear for your safety. Especially now…" Loki wanted nothing more than to be the one keeping her safe and away from the danger surrounding him. "Natasha-" A delicate finger pressed against his lips to quiet him.

"Tell me the plan. The other guys need to know what's happening, too," the Black Widow warned him. "If these elves are looking for you, chances are innocent people are going to get hurt. We're going to help prevent that."

**"I won't give up on you**  
**I can feel you in my heart, just show me the way**  
**I don't belong here**  
**Alone"**

**Never Go Back ~Evanescence**


	16. What if this storm ends?

**A/N: Thank you so much to my reviewers! It means a lot to me and I hope you guys enjoy. This chapter has some random song quotes in between some paragraphs cuz I wanted it to fit that way.**

"I am truly sorry for what my misguided actions have led to." Loki bowed his head, hoping that the team of Avengers would forgive him. He had just told the small group his plan to have Thanos killed, along with the oncoming invasion of dark elves.

"Jarvis, I'm gonna need a city-wide broadcast-get people to stay inside!" Tony said aloud to his computerized butler. "Can you override the local news? Word needs to get out, and fast!" he ordered.

_"Yes, sir," _the computerized voice responded. _"Working broadcast protocols now."_

"If anyone gets killed it's all your fault," Clint grumbled from across the room. He was busy getting his arrowheads together for the battle. The second Natasha called in an emergency team meeting, he came prepared for action.

Loki lowered his eyes, staring at the burgundy carpet beneath his feet. "I am well aware of that."

"He didn't _ask _for this invasion, Barton!" Natasha snapped. She stood beside Loki, a hand resting on his shoulder. "He should be dead now…" She could feel the god's shoulder sag. "But he's getting a second chance. He deserves this," she finished. Clint fell silent, fixing an arrowhead to its shaft. "You should know what it's like to give someone a second chance," Natasha quietly added. "Clint…." He was the man who found it in his heart to spare Natasha. She knew that he would understand.

He didn't care for Natasha pulling the 'second chance' card with him. But more than that, he didn't like her being with Loki… "I'm doing this to protect people," the archer muttered in annoyance.

_"Sir, I have detected thirty unidentified life forms approaching at a rapid speed fifty-two kilometers northwest," _Jarvis announced.

"Input the coordinates into my armor!" Tony ordered. "Time to suit up, guys."

"Let's take these guys down!" Steve declared.

Tony ran off to get his suit, followed by Steve. Clint slung his bag of arrows across his shoulder, ready to go out. Bruce followed after Clint as he made his way towards the elevator. Within seconds, Loki and Natasha were all alone in the team's common room.

"I need to go," the Black Widow said quietly. "Stay right here. If they see you-"

"Please don't," Loki finished. "I know you mean well, but I feel that being here makes me a burden."

"Until Odin brings Thanos down, I need you here." A look of intensity flickered within her bright green eyes.

"Natasha…" Lost within her gaze, his hand reached out to aimlessly grab her gloved hand. He was terrified to see her leave.

"I'm doing this to protect you," she replied in a low voice. She turned on her heel, her hand leaving the coolness of his grasp.

Loki's body stood still as he watched her backside make its way to the elevator.

**"What if this storm ends?  
And I don't see you  
As you are now  
Ever again"**

Once she had fled from the room, the god was alone, accompanied only by the sound of rain pattering against the large bay window. Loki moved towards the glass just in time to see Iron Man take flight. He worried for their safety, especially with the dark grey clouds and rain that made the cityscape below him a blur. His slender fingers brushed against the glass. Glancing down towards the ground below, a familiar hint of red stood out from the dismal, rainy greys. "Please be safe, Natasha," he murmured. A sudden bolt of lightning lit up the sky, allowing Loki a better look of Natasha, running down the street, being pelted by unforgiving raindrops. His fingers tightened into a fist. _No! _he said to himself. He couldn't let her go out alone. The god couldn't shake the feeling of something unforgivable happening. The elves took down his Mother, a fighter. If Natasha endured the same fate… Another bolt of lightning illuminated the dark sky. Loki could still make out the red of Natasha's hair as she ran. He refused to let her fight alone. Her safety-her _life_- meant more to him than anything. For that reason, Loki chose to go after her.

**"The perfect halo  
Of gold hair and lightning  
Sets you off against  
The planet's last dance**

**Just for a minute**  
**The silver forked sky**  
**Lit you up like a star**  
**That I will follow**

**Now it's found us  
Like I have found you  
I don't want to run  
Just overwhelm me"**

How Loki _ran _for her! Not wanting to waste any magic, he relied solely on his long legs to carry him towards her. The rain proved to be a difficult obstacle, but the streets were completely vacant. In the distance amidst the rumbling of thunder, he heard a gunshot and knew that he was close. He could sense a powerful energy approaching and Loki was certain that the elves were near. "Please hurry, Father," Loki gasped. He heard an even louder gunshot and the god summoned his dagger into his hand. It was time for him to get much needed revenge.

Natasha heard the screech of a dark elf not too far off behind her. In the corner of her eye, she spotted a blur of black dart past her. "Loki?" she said to herself. Not wanting to let her guard down, she fired two shots at an oncoming elf's head. It staggered a bit, but it was still alive and well.

"Aim for the neck!" Loki commanded Natasha. He charged towards his current opponent, coming dangerously close to the elf. Using his dagger, Loki made a clean slice through the elf's neck. He watched as the head rolled off to the side, a pool of blood surrounding it.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Natasha demanded. She fired a shot at an elf as it charged towards her at an alarming rate.

"I couldn't leave you," he answered back, firing a blast of energy towards Natasha's foe.

The dark elf immediately dropped dead. There were no more elves in sight-for now. Natasha whirled around, shooting Loki a furious glare. "I can deal with them myself!" she huffed. "I'm fighting these guys with the others-you shouldn't be here! If Thanos finds you-!"

"Your life is far more valuable than my own!" he shouted at her.

Her rage suddenly turned to concern. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Loki lowered his gaze. "It means that I care for you far too much…" He looked up to stare into her angry, yet anxious eyes. "My Mother was already taken from me. If I lose someone else-you…" He paused, lost for words. "I wish to protect you. Natasha. Even at the cost of my very life."

Natasha didn't like the eeriness within his words. If he thought that this was going to be the end for him, then he had another thing coming-Natasha refused to lose him. She took a second to look around and make sure there were no elves lurking. "I can protect myself," she promised the god. "I know you've been through a lot, Loki, but you need protecting a lot more than I do right now." He opened his mouth to speak, but she silenced him with a finger against his lips. Gazing into Loki's eyes, she could see an emptiness in those emerald orbs that frightened her. She used to have that exact empty stare before she found redemption. "I'm not going to lose you." Like Loki, Natasha knew that she cared too much. So much, that it was making her believe in giving hindering feelings such as love a chance. "Now go back to the tower and stay there," she ordered in a commanding tone.

Loki stared at her with child-like eyes. "Alright." He turned around, ready to return to the Avengers' base, only to meet with a set of black, hollow eyes and a haunting grin.

Natasha took a small step to her side and was able to see the dark elf several feet away. "I've got this-you go!" she assured him.

"No!" he snapped. "This one is mine to kill." Loki outstretched an arm to hold Natasha back.

Hearing the malice in Loki's voice was enough to let the assassin know that he knew this particular elf.

"He killed my Mother." Loki readied his blade, watching and waiting for the elf to make a move. The elf simply stood in place as if it were frozen. The trickster grew even more furious and blasted the elf to the ground with a wave of energy. Loki approached the seemingly unconscious elf. He dropped to the ground, straddling the elf beneath him. "I need to see your face!" He ripped the elf's mask away and flung it aside.

Natasha stood her ground and made sure her gun was loaded. All she could see was Loki's backside. His shoulders suddenly tensed and she knew something was wrong.

Empty. A hollow shell… That was what lay beneath the mask. "No," Loki murmured. Something wasn't right…

"And now, the trickster has been tricked!" a mocking voice declared.

The Black Widow whirled around, pointing her gun at who she assumed to be Thanos.

Loki whipped his head back, wet strands of hair clinging to his face. "_You._" He bared his teeth, glaring daggers at Thanos. "**You **killed her!"

"Does that upset you?" Thanos taunted, making his way towards Natasha. The red-head fired her gun, managing to lodge a bullet into his eye. Thanos cringed for a moment, only to pull the bullet out between two fingers and fling it aside. "Will it upset you more if I kill this one?" His grin widened as he hungrily eyed the assassin.

Loki's blood boiled the second the titan rested his eyes on Natasha. Wherever Odin was, he was late, leaving Loki to deal with the enemy himself. "**I **am the one you wish to die! Leave the woman out of this!" he snarled. Loki had never felt so enraged than in the moment Thanos outstretched his hand, pointing his palm in Natasha's direction. "I swear on my Father's name that I will rip the flesh from your bones!" With eyes glowing red, Loki prepared a spell. He was going to use every ounce of magic he could muster into one fatal blow.

Thanos, however, was far quicker than Loki. There was an explosion of blue lightning joined with the sound of a rare scream from Natasha Romanoff.

**"What if this storm ends?  
And leaves us nothing  
Except a memory  
A distant echo"**

**What If This Storm Ends? ~Snow Patrol**


	17. I let the water take me

**"So lay me down  
Let the only sound  
Be the overflow  
Pockets full of stones  
Lay me down  
Let the only sound  
Be the overflow"**

Natasha squeezed her eyes shut, blinded by the light summoned by the mad titan.

The second Loki saw Thanos cast an attack, he knew that he would once again lose someone he loved dearly. Refusing to let Natasha meet a painful demise, the god did the only thing he _could _do. He wanted to save her more than anything. What kind of a man would he be if he couldn't save the woman he loved? The trickster immediately changed his attack spell into a transportation spell. "Forgive me, Natasha."

Amidst the rumbling of Thanos' attack, Natasha heard Loki speak her name. Her eyes fluttered open and standing before her with arms spread wide was Loki, protecting her from harm's way. But he wasn't jut protecting her. He was defending her-_saving _her. A desperate scream escaped her lips as she watched the god's backside. She couldn't look away, nor did she try to. "**Loki!**" she cried, watching the god absorb the attack.

Loki turned his head in response and managed to catch a glimpse of her horror-struck face. He forced a weak smile, hoping that it would be of some reassurance to her. Despite the blow that burned like a thousand suns, knowing that she would live was enough for him to endure the searing pain.

**"'Cause they took your loved ones  
But returned them in exchange for you  
But would you have it any other way?  
Would you have it any other way?  
You couldn't have it any other way"**

Natasha saw the smallest hint of a smile across his lips that told her he was going to be okay. Before she could smile back, the sky grew pitch black and a bolt of lightning came crashing behind Thanos, shaking the ground. Both she and Loki were sent backwards from the trembling. Looking up, Natasha saw Thanos turn his head in shock. Standing behind the titan was who Natasha assumed to be Odin. There was another blinding light and she had to avert her gaze. After a deafening crack of thunder, the assassin opened her eyes just in time to see Thanos vanish into nothingness. _Gone, _she told herself. Natasha looked ahead of her and saw Loki, sprawled across the ground. "Lo-" His name failed to pass her lips as she noticed a pool of blood forming around his body. _No! _Natasha sprang to her feet and rushed to the god's side. Watching the sporadic rise and fall of his chest was enough to reassure her that he was still alive. But barely… Her eyes rested upon the gaping wound across his chest. The fabric surrounding the injury had been shredded, allowing her a better look at an injury that even _she_ didn't need to see. A small portion of skin had been burnt away and she could see visible cracks to the front of his ribcage. "Loki." She needed to keep her composure for his sake. Natasha wasn't sure if applying pressure to his wound would help in this scenario. Right now, she needed Loki conscious. "Loki," she repeated, tracing her fingers against his cheekbone. His skin felt eerily cold. Natasha turned her head, giving Odin a desperate stare. "Save him…" Her voice was barely a whisper.

All Loki could see was darkness. But then, he heard a hazy voice beckon to him. _"Loki," _the female voice called out. He wasn't sure where he was, for he could only see dreary blackness. Loki wanted to answer to his name, but he couldn't find his voice. What happened? Where was he? Loki was growing frantic. The sudden warmth of delicate fingers caressing his cheek instantly put him at ease. He recognised this touch. _Mother… _How Loki missed her dearly.

_"Loki."_

_"Yes, Mother?" _he asked.

_"Why don't you answer her, Loki?" Frigga asked gently._

_He opened his eyes and found himself staring into his Mother's crystal blue orbs. "It was you who called to me," Loki informed the goddess. _

_Frigga shook her head with a small smile. "Answer her, Loki. You love her-I know you do."_

_"Natasha…" he breathed. Suddenly, everything became clear to him. The thunderstorm, the elves, Thanos…_

_"You saved her life, after all."_

_Loki smiled proudly, allowing for his Mother to stroke his hair. "That is what I intended."_

_"To risk your own life?" she asked sadly. "That is such a selfless act, my Loki."_

_"But she is worth it…" He shut his eyes and felt oddly at peace._

_"I couldn't be more proud of you…"_

"Loki!"

A different voice forcefully beckoned him. _Natasha… _Her voice became so clear to him, yet he couldn't answer her. The darkness had returned, leaving him unable to speak. An unexpected smack across his cheek was enough to force Loki to slowly open his eyes. The first thing he saw was a blur of red.

"Thank god," Natasha breathed once his eyes opened. She turned her head away from him for a moment. "He's awake!" she gasped.

"Na…" The multiple Natashas he was seeing soon formed into one as his vision cleared up. "…tasha?" he weakly groaned. The god could feel a searing pain within his chest and immediately longed for the relief he felt in his dream-like state with Frigga.

"You can heal him, right?"

Loki saw Odin come into view and his eyes grew wide.

"Loki?" the All-Father asked. He knelt down beside Natasha and stared down at his son. "Forgive me for this. Had I not made haste, this never would have happened." His aged hand reached out to touch Loki's chest. "Thank you for showing me that there is still good inside your heart."

"N-…" Loki felt relieved to see how much the All-Father cared. For once, he felt that he had finally redeemed himself in his Father's eyes. He was grateful to finally have his Father's attention… but something was holding Loki back. "Don't," he rasped. His throat felt dry. "Don't waste your magic…"

"Loki!" Natasha snapped. "He's going to _save _you!"

A large part of him wanted to live, solely to be with her. But human lives were short-he knew that for a fact. What happened if he did live? Loki let the scenario play out in his head (if anything, it distracted him from the pain)… He would live in Natasha's apartment, maybe even take her to Asgard. Wherever they were, they would be together, and that was all that mattered. Their happiness would continue when Loki would make her his wife. He envisioned two, maybe even three small children of their own. A family would be enough to make Loki happy for several lifetimes… But as for Natasha, her days would be numbered. Just how long would she live? Her life would be but the blink of an eye to a god like himself. One day, death would claim her, along with Loki's joy. If he were to lose her, Loki knew that he would be inconsolable. Gazing into her teary eyes, he wanted to tell Natasha his hopes and dreams of a life with her, but he feared that she would blame herself for not being able to live such a long life. It wasn't her fault that she couldn't live for thousands of years… Loki only hoped that she would find happiness without him. Gods and mortals weren't meant to be. Loki decided that leaving her now would be for the best. "Let me go, Ms. Romanoff." His once velvety voice was reduced to a whisper, hushed and broken.

"No." Natasha's voice was quiet, but strong and determined. She removed her leather glove and squeezed his icy hand, hoping that her warmth would help. "You don't have to go. Not like this."

"Let me," he told her as he squeezed her hand. "Please," he added. Loki turned to his Father. "Thank you. But I do not need your aid…" he said gently. "If you don't mind… I'd like a word with Ms. Romanoff in private, please…"

Odin bowed his head and walked away from the two. Thor and Iron Man soon appeared in the distance, but the All-Father told them not to interfere.

"Can you heal yourself?" Natasha asked, grasping his hand even tighter.

"My magic isn't that strong…"

Natasha shook her head. "You're stronger than this, Loki."

He managed a small smile for her sake. "My weapon is my wits, I'm afraid. Unlike Thor, my strength is of the mind."

"You're not dying, Loki!" Natasha ordered. "Not now. Not like this."

"The pain is unbearable," he breathed tiredly.

Natasha's fingers hovered over the gaping wound through his heart. "I'm sorry."

"I was referring to the pain of living, actually." He forced a chuckle that made his chest ache.

"That isn't funny." Her tone was cold. He spoke as if this was the end for him. Natasha had hope that he was going to pull through this… "You deserve to live. Think of the people who care about you-Odin, Thor-"

"I've felt worthless my entire life," he explained. "There isn't any point in living. Especially when I look at Thor and see myself as nothing but his shadow."

"Don't talk that way," Natasha warned him. "Stop comparing yourself to Thor-you're different."

"'Different.'" Loki let out a sarcastic laugh. "Our differences outweigh the similarities by far."

Natasha rested Loki's head in her lap. "Stop it," she harshly whispered. How could he laugh at a time like this? As much as Natasha didn't want to admit it, Loki was dying. If he knew he was dying, then why would he laugh? Was he that eager to die?

"I do love Thor," he whispered. "Yet for so long, I was jealous of him…" Loki wanted her to know the truth behind his feelings. "Truth be told, I felt that my life held nothing until I met you…There is no need in making me feel better about myself, Ms. Romanoff." Loki's eyes stared up into hers. "I'm dying," he stated. "And in death, I will find peace."

In that moment, Loki reminded Natasha of her own past. There was a time when she couldn't find the strength to carry on. But then she felt that there was more to her life and chose to live- she put the past behind her and started anew. If only there was a way to prove to Loki that he deserved this chance to live. "You can _fight _this!" she growled. "Just heal yourself!"

"Not with death drawing near." There was an eerie trace of acceptance in his voice.

"Don't do this, Loki!" She slapped him across the face. "Don't you die on me!" she hissed. "Remember that second chance you wanted? This is it!" she shouted at him. "Don't waste your second chance like this!"

"I already had my second chance." He smiled weakly. "I used it to help defeat Thanos and save you…Don't feel remorse for me, Ms. Romanoff." An all-too reassuring smile formed across his lips.

"And what if I do?" she asked.

Loki could see their life flashing before his eyes. Happiness, marriage, children… death… The only thing holding Loki back from saving himself was the fact that Natasha would one day have to leave him forever. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes. "You will be giving me a reason to live." As he stared into Natasha's emerald orbs, the tears slowly rolled down his cheeks. "Right when I am about to die…"

Natasha noticed several more tears rolling down his face. It wasn't until Loki's thumb brushed against her eye that she realized they were _her _tears.

"I'm fine with dying, though. After all, how can I live bearing the pain of everything I've done wrong in the past?" His hand fell from her face and towards the ground

"It's what I do," Natasha whispered.

"That's where you and I are different."

_No, _she wanted to say to him. "You and I… really aren't that different," she murmured.

"Unlike myself, you are brave… Strong… I commend you for that, Natasha…Thank you," he whispered.

She shook her head. "We've both done things we aren't proud of."

Loki's eyes slowly closed. "You've given me an opportunity to die a hero. For that, I am eternally grateful…" His voice grew weaker towards the end of his sentence.

"You can still live like a hero, too. Why not show everyone how much you've changed?" Natasha ran her fingers through his messy hair. "I'll be right here by your side."

The god's body was still. He appeared to be sleeping…

"Loki?"

Except he wasn't breathing.

"**Loki!**" She leaned over, pressing her forehead against his. Both of their faces were covered by her curtain of short curls. "_Please!_" His silence was making her flustered. _Don't. Be. Dead. _"Coward!" she hissed, punching his chest. He hated being called that, and she knew it. "You can't just die on me like this!" she seethed. "You can't d-" Natasha didn't know what her emotions were doing. She felt such an intense anger and sadness all at the same time. A choked sob escaped her throat. "_Loki_..." Her voice cracked as hot tears ran down her face. "…I love you…" Her voice faltered as the three words passed her lips. The fear of losing him gave her the courage to finally say how she felt. She hoped that her words would reach him and that he would start breathing again. Like magic. He was the trickster, after all. But he didn't respond... Despite the sadness that made her chest tighten, she couldn't help but feel envy towards him. He had something that she didn't. In his death, Loki had found freedom from the burden he called his life. Natasha didn't have that option, for she chose to live with the troubles of her past. "Coward!" she spat, glaring down at his still form. "You're selfish!… Dammit, Loki, you weren't alone!" she cried, grabbing fistfuls of his raven hair. "You had me…" she breathed. Within the god's final moments, they had each other. The assassin felt closer to the man she once called her enemy than she had with anyone else. They were one. Two halves of a whole. She had been with him through his pain and tears. Then there were the happy moments they shared-the blissful dreams together, talking and getting to know one another, making sweet love... Natasha saw a side of Loki that she didn't know existed. He was truly a good person, brave and selfless. She wanted him to have another second chance so she could spend her lifetime with him. It was selfish of Natasha for wanting such a thing, but their end had come far too soon… However, Loki was at peace now, or so Natasha hoped. Not only that, but he was finally with his Mother. Natasha prayed that he found his peace, for he deserved the release. And if Loki could find peace, then there was hope for a sinner like her. Only then would the two be together. Free…Happy... Natasha stared down at Loki through tear clouded eyes. _One day, _she told herself as she cupped his cheek. _We'll be together. Forever... _But that day was not today. Natasha clung to her life in hopes of wiping away all the sins of her past. Not just for her, but for Loki, as well. Only then would she allow herself to find peace…

**To Be Concluded...**

**"****'****Cause she's a cruel mistress  
And a bargain must be made  
But oh, my love, don't forget me  
I let the water take me"**

**What the Water Gave Me ~FatM**


	18. I'll find deep inside I can be the one

**A/N: This chapter is more of an epilogue/alternate ending to give it more of a happy-ish ending, I guess. Thank you to everyone for reading, though! And thanks so much to my reviewers/followers/and fav-ers. I love you all! Until next time!**

Odin took Loki's body, along with all of the Avengers back to Asgard for the funeral of Loki, his wife, and the other fallen Asgardians… All of the Avengers except for Natasha. No one, not even Clint, knew where Natasha had fled to after the god's passing. She was gone, along with her usual travel suitcase. That didn't stop the Avengers from attending the funeral, though. After hearing how Loki saved Natasha's life, the team owed him. Even Clint found it in his heart to forgive the trickster. Clint only wished that he knew where Natasha had gone. Last he saw her was right after Loki had died. Despite how Natasha tried hiding her face, Clint managed to catch a glance of her red, puffy eyes and tear-stained face. It broke his heart to see her in such a state of distress. He had never seen her cry before-she was always so strong. Even when she was in pain, she had always managed to hide it. Losing Loki had emotionally destroyed her.

* * *

The only things Natasha had with her was a suitcase packed tight, her passport, and Loki's red rose that she held in between her fingers. It had been a week since Loki died, yet the rose looked as though it had been freshly picked.

_'So long as I am with you, Natasha, this flower will live. Even if we are worlds are apart…'_

Natasha swore under her breath as fresh tears stung her eyes. She laid the flower against a pillow before wiping her eyes on her sleeve. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't forget him. Loki had become a part of her. Now that he was gone, she felt empty. Natasha knew that her feelings had gotten in the way, but tonight was her last night of running away. Come morning, she had a flight back to New York arranged. She would soon arrive back home, with a brand new mission to keep her mind occupied. Natasha needed a distraction in her life. She thought the isolation would help, but it was only making it worse. Her dreams made her loneliness even worse. Natasha had dreamt of Loki every night, but it wasn't like the times when he would visit her dreams. Instead of feeling like Loki was actually with her, the dreams felt staged and clouded. When he would speak to her, his voice sounded different and she feared that her mind was forgetting him. She didn't want her memories of him to fade-she cherished every moment spent with the god. The idea of one day forgetting even the sound of his voice frightened her. First his voice, then what? His signature smirk? His striking emerald eyes? The rose seemed to be the only thing linking him to her.

_Natasha found Loki sitting amongst a garden of roses. "Loki?" she weakly asked._

_ The god smiled, chuckling softly as he approached her. "Who else would it be?"_

_ She sat down beside him, watching him carefully from the corner of her eye. He turned to watch her, curious, but Natasha quickly looked down. Frighteningly enough, his face was blurred as if a fog was hiding his features from her. Was this her forgetting him? So soon?..._

_"Do not weep over my passing, Natasha…" A slender finger reached out to wipe a tear from her eye. _

_ Natasha didn't even realize that she had been crying. "Shut up," she growled, turning her head farther away so he couldn't see that she was crying even harder now. If this was a dream, then why did his touch feel so real? "Don't do this to me," she breathed._

_ "Do what?" he somberly asked._

_ "This," she stated, staring into his hazy eyes. "Appearing in my dreams… It's… too much." Natasha knew that she had no control over her dreams, but having to constantly see Loki every night was driving her crazy._

_ "Do you wish to forget me, Natasha?"_

Natasha woke with a start, tears rolling down her cheeks. _No. _She didn't want to forget him. Not ever. After that, she couldn't fall back asleep…

Once back in New York, Natasha's sleeplessness continued. She had developed some rather bad habits over the course of a month. She hardly slept, she refused to talk with her teammates, and she rarely ate. It wasn't until she needed to opt out on a mission due to feeling ill that Nick Fury forced her to at least let Bruce look her over. Natasha agreed, only because she needed her missions to distract herself. She was certain that her illness had to do with malnourishment. A quick meeting with her ally the doctor would confirm it and he would give her a prescription. End of story…

After Bruce ran some tests, he looked over her paperwork, ready to diagnose her. "Natasha…"

* * *

But that wasn't the simple 'end of story' Natasha had hoped for. Eight in a half months later, she found herself confined to a hospital bed with a grossly distended abdomen and pain searing from her back to her middle.

_"…you're pregnant," Bruce said, clearly in shock._

_Natasha's mouth fell open in disbelief. Her mind went blank and she forgot how to breathe. She knew that it wasn't possible-her body had been made infertile long ago… Unless Loki and his godly magic conquered her supposedly barren womb. "This stays between us…" Before Bruce could interject, Natasha hurried off to her apartment. She needed time to think through her current predicament. Alone. _

_After what felt like hours lost in thought, Natasha made her decision. The child was obviously a miracle-she could think of no other word to describe it. And it was the last thing she had left of the god. If anything, Loki's baby would help her to never forget him._

_Later that day, she had a much-needed talk with Nick Fury in his office. She told him she needed to take a year off from work and he asked her if she was crazy. _

_"I don't think I'll be doing much of anything for the next eight months," she told him. "I also need a few months off after that to adjust to some _changes, _and get back into shape…" Her boss blankly stared at her, not amused by her requests. She wondered if he understood where their conversation was going. Natasha couldn't bring herself to say her condition out loud. It still didn't feel real to her. She hoped that her hints were going to be enough for him. "I'm coming back, though. And not alone." A hand rested against her middle for another clue._

_Fury was suddenly able to catch on. He also caught on to the fact that her union wasn't with another fellow agent. After Loki had passed on, he heard from his Avengers that Natasha had supposedly become close to the god of mischief. A little _too _close. As someone who had known Natasha for years, he felt awful for what she was having to go through. She didn't deserve the hardship. "I'm sorry," he said to her, feeling genuinely hurt. "If there's anything I can do-"_

_"Time off," Natasha stated. Those were the last words she said to him before fleeing the country._

"Push," a doctor ordered Natasha.

The red-head tried to fight back her screams, but the burning pain became unbearable. She screamed, she swore, and she endured the agony, all for Loki's sake. After a strong push, she felt the relief of the child leaving her. A high-pitched cry was heard and Natasha looked up to stare at her newborn, pink-faced and covered in blood.

"It's a girl," the doctor announced.

A nurse cleaned the newborn up before handing the baby to her mother.

Natasha stared down at the bundled-up infant in awe and for the first time in months, Natasha smiled. She began stroking her new daughter's rosy cheek and noticed her little tufts of black curls. The baby was most definitely Loki's.

Natasha swore to never let go of the precious little gift Loki had given her. Loki may have been gone, but their daughter was a piece of him that would be with Natasha always. As for the baby's name, Natasha already had one in mind. "I'm gonna name you Rose," she decided in a hushed whisper. "And we'll never be apart," she promised, kissing her daughter's forehead.

**"When I see your smile**  
**Tears roll down my face I can't replace**  
**And now that I'm strong I have figured out**  
**How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul**  
**And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one"**

**Your Guardian Angel ~Red Jumpsuit Apparatus**


End file.
